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[rubyclover]

I said I can’t write but if felt nice getting that other idea out of my head. So I wrote this and will post. Technically I started trying to write this like a month ago… Please ignore the constant switching between past and present tense. It’s something I never seem to notice until someone else points out where it is.

Prompt: Professionals hate him but he was right! [Adam] Heaven and Hell come to the realization that The First Man played a larger part in the three realms’ political/social ecosystem than they thought. His absence leaves a vacuum that Lute is unable to fill but she may not need to because Hell is solving the problem themselves… The Morningstar Family can’t run from this.

No ABetaO we expire like Adam~

Imagine that Adam dies, the hotel has never looked better, the residents have healed up and Charlie gets another TV appearance. Lucifer is even more depressed than before but hides it. Adam is gone She’s going to reveal Sir Pentious’ redemption with evidence that is NOT childishly scribbled on key cards. Instead of the interview taking place in the 666News studio it’s held outside the hotel. She will take questions, live, right after the interview. Katie Killjoy wants to give the public a chance to cause chaos for ratings, so she puts Charlie in a vulnerable position.

Things go great… for the first 20 minutes. The interview isn’t even half way done when someone from the crowd interjects after Charlie says ‘The Sinners have a better life now that the Exterminations are permanently canceled.’

That person’s voice is calm but still pissed as Hell. They fire back that no, Sinners don’t have an easier life now that the Exterminations are over. It’s worse! Charlie and the crowd perk up.

The voice moves to the front. They’re short with plain street clothes, hood up. It’s obvious they’re poor and at the bottom of Hell’s pecking order. A couple of Imps are with them equally disheveled and tired looking. The man goes on to point out some rather hard truths.

Thanks to the last Extermination, angelic steel has become a hot commodity. While uncommon right now, there’s a pipeline to obtain an angelic weapon. All you need is enough money. Carmilla Carmine doesn’t care about how her product is used after purchase.

‘Permanent Murder’ is a new trend on HellTube netting ridiculous profits. The main targets are vulnerable Sinners, usually the scared and alone new arrivals, Imps and Hellhounds. All killed by beautifully glowing angelic weapons.

Overlords are more formidable with these weapons so the chance of contractees escaping, like Angeldust, has become damn near impossible even if they destroyed their contract. Some desperate souls were happy with their messed up immortality. It gave them some hope, ‘at least I have a chance to turn things around eventually,’ but that pathetic security is gone.

The Exterminations kept said Overlords in check to a degree. They were more inclined to take care of their underlings because that guaranteed their safety. Now? Just get an angelic gun for all your troubles. Valentino is having a fucking field day.

The ‘permadeath’ toll for one year will be ten times the amount of one Extermination Day considering how much Hell’s citizens like to kill Sinners…

Not to mention, whole industries in Hell, from top to bottom, are starting to crash. Their purpose or sales revolved around the Exterminations. Some workers cannot afford to lose their job and have to sell their soul against their will.

Etcetcetc

As the man speaks Charlie is surprised to see heads nodding in agreement! Someone comments that they hadn’t seen their Sinner friend in a few days and tries not to panic while another face falls in the crowd and wrings their hands together. An Imp with curved horns standing beside a young Hellhound sweats profusely and starts to leave. Tension moves through the public. Not just the ones in front of the stage but also those watching TV.

Despite her best efforts Charlie cannot lift the crowd’s mood. She realizes prematurely revealing Sir Pentious’ redemption is the only way to salvage this growing disaster. Unfortunately the man’s timing is perfect because the second she opens her mouth he turns his anger on the Morningstars.

He calls out how much her family misrepresents themselves as rulers. They don’t do anything for Hell anymore. They spend most of their time fucking around while the Sinners suffer. The other Sins manage their rings and hellborn, not Lucifer or Lilith. All three of the Morningstars can’t truly understand human suffering yet they profess to know how to best handle it. With no idea what it means to be human yet they pass judgement on them.

The crowd becomes agitated and the Imps beside the man move closer to him. They aren’t trying to draw safety from the Sinner but are taking defensive positions. Charlie realizes this isn’t someone speaking up in the heat of the moment. This is a planned speech. He’s highjacking her broadcast!

She sees the Sinner clench his fists and feels herself start to sweat. Why was he saying any of that? Yes, life will be a bit hard at first but now everyone can come together and rebuild! There are so many possibilities available to The Pride Ring. It would improve lives. Change was always good they just had to be careful. Yet the stranger goes on.

He claims that Lucifer is a washed up angel that can’t comprehend mortality because of his maladaptive dreaming and pride, Lilith is apathetic to Sinners and wishes to aggravate Heaven no matter how much Hell will suffer and Charlie is so sheltered that she thinks PTSD can be solved by clapping and saying positive affirmations.

Little is known about the royal family but the stranger’s comments sway the crowd. The hotel’s original commercials got the time of day because of Charlie’s status, not because the facility had managed to accomplish anything. Lucifer barely appears at all even when large fights break out leveling half of Pentagram City. And Lilith? Missing for 7 years after riling up all of Hell multiple times, causing Heaven to start the Exterminations.

The stranger calls the hotel a disgusting joke. Calls out how Charlie is trying to ‘pass the buck’ over to Heaven. The Pride Ring’s actual rulers are Overlords and they make sure Sinners suffer and continue to act depraved whether they like it or not. Her family has the power to take control and lessen the city’s suffering but they don’t. Instead they play with their little pet project .

Why are they focusing on shipping problems elsewhere? There’s a better way to solve the pain and suffering at the source than waiting! Fix Pentagram City! Show Heaven that the current number of Sinners isn’t a threat!

‘For all the crying and sniveling you do Princess Charlotte, you sure don’t actually help where it counts! I’m sure you care about Sinners but only on the same level as someone cares about cute public park ducks.’

Vaggie, who had been standing to the side of the stage leaps forward, places herself in between the stranger and her girlfriend. Everyone’s raised emotions have put her on edge. She ignores the harsh gasps when her angelic spear slides free and into her hands. ‘Back up! Now!’

Charlie’s heart sank at the escalation. She understood her girlfriend was still tense from the extermination but all their hard work was starting to fray around the edges! She just hoped her dad didn’t-

The King of Hell himself appears through a portal shortly after gathering himself together. The opening looked angrier in color, matching his mood. Sickly green lines run throughout the glow, radiating blistering heat. Parts of the stage began to melt and the forgotten camera crew swivel to their ruler. Lucifer’s face is set in stone but his bright flickering eyes give him away.

‘Who the fuck are you?’ He snarls, apple topped cane slamming onto the stage causing some of it to splatter. ‘How dare you speak to my daughter that way.’ Lucifer’s face morphs into a more demonic grimace. Katie Killjoy scrambles from her chair and off the stage at the same time as Charlie vaulting up to place a hand on Lucifer’s shoulder whispering ‘dad no!’ She doesn’t want the hotel’s improved reputation to evaporate. A confrontation with someone on live TV would scare people away!

Lucifer growls in the back of his throat, looking at where he assumes the bastard’s eyes are under his hood. Smoke and embers sizzle out from the corner of his mouth and inbetween teeth. He hated acting this way but he had an image to uphold. ‘Answer your King you wretch. Don’t confuse my inaction with benevolence. You’re testing my patience!’

After a beat or two of staring each other down the stranger has the gall to ‘tsk’ off to the side as if spitting. ‘As you with your majesty. It’s all fine by me.’ A small, scared hand reaches up and whips off the dirty hood exposing his face to all of Hell.

People instantly whip out their phones. His face is shockingly similar to Lucifer’s, in fact a basic carbon copy sans a few attributes.

Cameras catch alabaster skin and soft, blond, curly hair, short, wiry build, vivid green eyes, pale coral cheek markings, pointed ears and four demon wings the same color as his skin.

Leaf green eyes stair directly into Charlie’s while electing to ignore both fallen angels. He stands ramrod straight. Cutting a regal silhouette despite the filth on his body and clothes.

‘My name is Cain Adamson, The Wandering Star.’ He bows in a fashion Charlie hadn’t seen in all her galas. ‘Lucifer Morningstar’s first born and bastard son. It’s nice to finally meet you sister mine… I’ll be taking your family’s crown for my father.’

[So in this AU Cain rescued Adam’s body and resuscitated it. They had a familial bond even when Cain got banished for murdering Able and found out his bio dad was Lucifer. Eve didn’t pay much attention to her first born out of guilt so Adam stepped up. No one shamed her. Adam never felt like Cain was separate from his other kids even though he looked nothing like him. Now Cain wants to provide for his father who’s trapped in hell and in really bad condition by booting the Morningstars out of power in the Pride Ring.] Dunno about pairing but Adamsapple or Guitarhero would be a safe bet. Either way Lucifer will suffer lol

[wtf do I call this? Family Feud AU? Chessboard AU? Secret Brother AU? Idk h e l p ]

[engeorged]

The Conference Part One

Chapter One: 2018

Kit had taken the job not knowing that my first week would be the company’s annual sales conference. He was always painfully shy and preferred to stay at home with his nose in a book or playing some online strategy game in his darkened room. He had done well at school and college and eventually university where he had picked up his qualifications easily and ahead of schedule. But after finishing he moved back in with his parents and rarely went out. At first it was perfect, his parents left him alone and his noisy brothers were all off living their lives. But at 26, he began to feel a bit trapped. He needed to change something.

Tackling it in his usual academic way, he booked some time with a life coach. The first few meetings with the coach were painful but eventually he began to come round to the idea that he had a lot to offer the world. He was smart and funny and even though he would never admit it, quite attractive in a bookish way. Kit was tall and athletic looking for someone who didn't do any athletics. The coach had encouraged him to put himself out there into the world and so he applied for a job with a huge international shipping company. Well, shipping was their business on paper but in reality they dabbled in most markets making billions every day. The analytics job he applied for suited Kit down to the ground, he would be based in an office ploughing through numbers but would still be in contact with colleagues in person.

The day of the conference arrived and Kit had every intention of trying to interact with some people and had even practised some conversation starters in advance. As he stepped into the lobby of the huge hotel his heart began to pound, this was going to be even harder than he had feared. But he was determined to not bail. He joined the queue for check in and once he had his key card, he hurried off to his room for safety. After nesting and getting unpacked, he gave himself a little pep talk in the mirror and ventured to the first session. There was no way he would be able to avoid talking to people in a crowd like this.

Unfortunately, the reality was very much that he was able to attend a national conference and not speak to a single person. Everyone seemed to know people already and Kit just blended into the background, like normal. Sessions came and went, meals happened and Kit managed to not have a single meaningful interaction except ordering the odd coffee.

By the third day he was done hiding and decided that he would use some of the techniques he’d practised with his coach and approach someone to initiate a chat IRL. He scouted round the room and saw one of the guys he had met at his interview. He was in the same department Kit would be working in, and seemed friendly, so he approached him with a drink in his hand. He waited for a few minutes before the guy turned round and half smiled at him. Kit opened his mouth to say hi and ask how he was finding the conference and nothing came out. The guy waited for a few seconds before nodding his head awkwardly and turning round to continue with his friend.

Kit had blown it. He slipped away, holding back tears and found a quiet bathroom at the back of the hotel. Fortunately, there was no one in there and he shot into a cubicle and closed the door behind him. His head was spinning. Who did he think he was, taking a job like this? He should have taken something in a smaller company where there were just a few people and no annual sales conference. This was too much too soon.

As he sat there, berating himself for being so stupid, he heard the door to the bathroom crash open.

‘Fucks sake!’ he heard a deep voice exclaim. The man was clearly annoyed at something and went to the taps, which he turned on. Kit tried not to breathe as the figure stomped around the bathroom trying to do something. All at once the door to the stall began to swing open. Kit froze. He’d not locked it. As it opened further Kit saw the source of the swearing. The guy was huge. 6’6 easily with huge shoulders and a thick neck. He was frantically scrubbing something off his front. Kit prayed he wouldn’t turn around and see him but it was too late. The hulk of a man looked up and saw his reflection in the mirror.

‘Hey man, help a bro out?’ He said as he saw Kit sat on the toilet.

Kit, now spotted, knew he couldn’t get out of this. He stood up and ventured out of the toilet.

‘What happen? Er I mean how happened? I mean . . . (Sigh). What did you do?’ Kit stammered

The bear turned round and the hint of a smile crossed his face, although it didn’t feel unkind. As he turned, Kit saw what was wrong. He’d split a load of marinara sauce down the front of his white shirt. Now Kit could see him fully, he saw how good looking the giant was. He was as tall as he looked with dark messy hair, pale skin with a hint of freckles across his nose and piercing blue eyes. His face was neatly covered in dense stubble which framed his face and made him look incredibly handsome. The man was furiously scrubbing at a large marinara sauce stain that had spread across his crisp white shirt only making it worse.

The man glanced around the bathroom and his eyes landed on Kit again. “Could you give me a hand with this? I’m making it worse.” he asked, his tone surprisingly friendly despite his obvious frustration at himself. Kit froze, unsure how to respond. There was something about his easy confidence and open demeanour that made Kit feel a bit braver.

“Uh, sure,” Kit replied finally, stepping out from behind the stall. Together, they worked on the stain, but it quickly became apparent that it wasn’t coming out. Kit bit his lip, thinking quickly. “You could borrow my sweater?,” he offered hesitantly. “It’s oversized on me so it should fit you!’ Kit’s cheeks went red as he realised what he just said. ‘Shit. Not that you’re oversized, you’re perfect obviously.’

Fortunately for Kit, he ignored his babbling and his face lit up with gratitude. “That would be amazing. Thanks, man.” Without hesitation, he began unbuttoning his ruined shirt. As he pulled it off, Kit couldn’t help but notice his muscular physique. His broad chest and shoulders were covered in a neatly trimmed but strong layer of dark hair, which trailed down to a surprisingly rounded, but muscular furry belly. Kit felt a strange, unexpected attraction stir within him. The contrast of the man’s strong, imposing build and the firm, rounded belly was surprisingly captivating, making Kit’s heart race.

Shaking himself out of his reverie, Kit handed over his sweater. He promptly slipped it on, the fabric stretching taut across his chest and stomach. It fit, but only just, highlighting his muscular frame in a way that was both impressive and slightly comical. A slim line of furry flesh visible just above his waistband was distracting. “Perfect fit,” he joked with a wink, his friendly demeanour putting Kit at ease.

“Thanks, Kit,” the man mountain said, clapping him on the shoulder. “You’re a lifesaver. I owe you one.” Kit managed a shy smile, feeling a strange sense of relief. As quickly as he had come into Kit’s life he was gone again before Kit could say anything.

That evening, Kit lay on his bed in the dim light of his hotel room, unable to stop thinking about the encounter. His mind kept drifting back to the sight of that muscular, rounded belly and the way it had felt to see him so close, so real. There was an undeniable magnetism there, an effortless charm that drew people in and made them feel seen. Kit had never met anyone like him before—someone so full of energy and creativity, who could transform even a mundane bathroom encounter into a moment of genuine connection.

Kit felt a strange mix of admiration and longing, but also confusion. He had known he was gay for a while, but it wasn’t something he had ever bothered to tell anyone. It didn't seem important really. But this attraction, particularly to the man’s firm, rounded belly, was new. He had never thought he could be drawn to a man with a belly, and the intensity of these feelings left him a little unsettled. As he replayed the events of the day, Kit realised that something had awakened in him, a desire to break free from his shell and experience life with the same vibrant intensity. Yet, the novelty of his attraction and the strength of Kit’s introversion, made everything feel even more complicated, leaving Kit with a mix of excitement and uncertainty that he couldn’t quite resolve.

The next morning, after very little sleep, Kit shuffled into the hotel’s breakfast area, still feeling the echoes of his turbulent thoughts from the previous night. He chose a quiet corner table, hoping to remain unnoticed. But as he picked at his food, he felt a sudden presence and looked up to see the same giant from the bathroom striding toward him with a broad smile. Without a hint of hesitation, he plonked himself down at Kit’s table, a plate heaping with scrambled eggs, bacon, and pastries in hand.

“Morning, Kit!” The man’s voice was warm and full of energy. He dug into his plate of food with gusto eating like he hadn’t eaten before, the smell of the rich breakfast filling the air. Kit realised that now was his chance to ask the guy's name. He tried to formulate the words in his head but as if the man were a mind reader he offered his own name. ‘I’m Odin by the way. I know what you’re thinking, but before you ask, my parents were hippies!’

Kit laughed at the confession. With each bite, Kit’s eyes were drawn back to the sight of Odin’s belly, the firm, rounded shape becoming even more pronounced as he continued to eat. The fabric of his shirt stretched tighter over his growing midsection, which seemed to be rounder that last night.

Fortunately, Odin didn’t really need Kit to say much as he chatted animatedly, his enthusiasm making it impossible for Kit to remain withdrawn. He was just very present in the space he occupied and seemingly at ease with everyone. He seemed to not notice Kit’s intense stares or his bumbled words, he just accepted him as he was.

As Odin piled more food onto his plate at the buffet table, and took large, hearty bites, his belly pushed outward, growing more pronounced with every helping. Kit found himself unable to look away, captivated by the way Odin’s midsection seemed to expand and stretch with the volume of food he consumed.

Despite the vast amounts of food Odin consumed, he managed to exude an infectious energy that kept Kit engaged and entertained. Odin’s effortless charm and the way his belly visibly filled out, becoming rounder and firmer, drew Kit in like a magnet. ‘Are you gonna eat that?’ Odin pointed at Kit's uneaten waffle. ‘Take it!’ Kit obliged but Odin had already reached over and taken a bite.

By the end of breakfast, Kit was unexpectedly energised, his thoughts a whirl of admiration and fascination, all thanks to Odin’s remarkable ability to connect and draw him in—even amidst the clamour of a busy buffet. His appetite sated, Odin stretched his arms high into the air in a big display of a stretch. This showed off his well developed biceps and triceps perfectly. As he made the gesture his shirt rode all the way up, exposing the whole of his hairy bloated stomach. Kit made every effort to not let his jaw drop as he got a glimpse of the full glory of his overstuffed middle. The curve of it framed by his muscular torso, his adonis belt still defined at the edges. Odin, apparently oblivious to his belly display, shook himself off and stood. ‘Right. Gotta catch a train see you next year buddy?’ And with that he'd gone leaving Kit with a mind full of questions and visuals he would no doubt be revisiting.

Chapter Two - 2019

A whole year had passed since Kit had last met Odin at the conference. In that time, Kit had spent countless moments scanning rooms at work events, hoping for another chance encounter with the man who had left such an indelible impression on him. Although he hadn't seen Odin, the experience had spurred Kit to work on his own confidence. He attended more networking events, pushed himself out of his comfort zone, and found himself slowly becoming more at ease in social situations. He would use the phrase, ‘Be more Odin’ in the moments where he lacked confidence.

That evening, at the same annual sales conference, Kit's heart nearly stopped when he finally spotted a familiar figure across the room. Odin, looking even more formidable than before, was chatting animatedly with a group of colleagues. His already impressive physique had bulked up considerably; his chest and arms were more massive, and his belly, while still firm and round, was noticeably smaller. As Kit approached, his eyes took in Odin's transformation. The man had clearly dedicated himself to work on his body, his muscles taut and defined under his fitted shirt.

Kit hesitated, his nerves getting the better of him. What if Odin didn’t remember him? What if he was just another face in a sea of conference attendees? What if he would remember him as the nerd who oggled him all through that breakfast. Doubt got the better of him, and he decided to turn away, retreating back into the crowd.

“Kit!” a familiar voice boomed behind him. Kit stopped in his tracks, his heart pounding. He turned around to see Odin striding towards him, a broad smile lighting up his face. “I thought that was you!”

“Odin,” Kit said, his voice a mix of relief and excitement. “I didn’t think you’d remember me.”

“Of course I remember you!” Odin laughed, enveloping Kit in a hug. Kit marvelled at the sheer solidity of his friend’s body pushed up against him. As they pulled apart, Odin’s eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. “I’ve got news. Decided to go part-time at work and pursue bodybuilding seriously. Aiming for the Olympics next year.”

Kit’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “The Olympics? That’s incredible! I didn’t know body building was an Olympic sport?’

Odin laughed, a deep, resonant sound. “I'm pretty sure it is! Well, it’s a dream of mine anyway. We’ll see how far I get.” His laughter and the casual confidence in his voice were infectious, and Kit couldn’t help but smile back.

Later that night, Odin suggested they hit a nearby bar to catch up properly. As they sat down with their drinks, Kit found himself falling deeper into conversation with Odin. They talked about everything—work, life, and Odin’s rigorous training regime. Kit was in awe of Odin’s dedication and the sheer positivity he radiated.

Midway through the evening, Kit accidentally stepped on a man's foot as he moved to get another drink. The man, clearly drunk and looking for trouble, began to mock Kit loudly. “Watch it, you prick! Can’t even walk straight, huh you fucking piss stain?” Kit felt his face heat up, the familiar sting of embarrassment threatening to ruin his night. But before he could react, Odin was on his feet, towering over the douchebag with an intimidating presence.

“Back off,” Odin growled, his voice low and menacing. “You’ve had enough to drink, and you’re out of line.”

The drunk guy, suddenly realising the size and strength of the man confronting him, backed down immediately, muttering an apology before slinking away. Odin sat back down, his expression softening as he looked at Kit.

“You okay?” he asked, concern in his eyes.

Kit nodded, feeling a rush of gratitude and something deeper—admiration, affection, perhaps even something more. “Thanks, Odin. That meant a lot.”

Odin smiled, a genuine, warm smile that made Kit’s heart flutter. “Anytime, Kit. You’re a good guy, and nobody should make you feel less than that!’

As the night wore on, Kit found himself hopelessly in love with Odin. The way Odin had stood up for him, the ease with which he navigated life, and the sheer kindness and strength he embodied—it all combined to make Kit realise just how much this man meant to him. By the end of the night, Kit knew he was no longer just looking up to Odin; he was falling for him, deeply and irrevocably.

Chapter Three - 2020

Kit was once again eagerly anticipating the annual sales conference where he could finally meet up with his friend again to see his progress. As the year marched on however, the dreaded covid hit. The conference was cancelled and replaced with a virtual event on Zoom. Kit was both disappointed and relieved—disappointed because he wouldn’t get to see Odin in person, but relieved because he could still potentially see him, even if only on screen.

As the conference began, Kit saw Odin’s name logged on and scanned the various breakout rooms, hoping to spot Odin among the sea of faces. Finally, he found him in a room dedicated to a team-building exercise. Kit quickly joined in, his heart racing with anticipation.

The breakout room was filled with chatter as everyone tried to navigate the awkwardness of virtual icebreakers. Odin’s familiar face appeared on Kit’s screen, and Kit’s breath caught. Odin looked more muscular than ever, his shoulders and chest filling the frame impressively. His biceps bulged as he gestured animatedly, the camera catching every detail of his powerful upper body.

Kit tried to focus on the task at hand, but his eyes kept drifting back to Odin. He was desperate to ask him how the olympic dreams were going but couldn't find an opportune moment. Midway through the session, Odin stood up to grab something off-screen. As he did, his shirt lifted slightly, revealing a glimpse of his belly. Kit’s eyes widened as he saw that Odin’s belly was fully back. It still retained that firm, round shape he remembered but it was a striking difference from the toned hunk he had met last year. The sight of Odin’s much larger belly sent a thrill through Kit, making it difficult to concentrate on anything else.

Odin, oblivious to the effect he was having on Kit, returned to his seat, readjusting his shirt casually. He then glanced at the camera and sighed, a hint of embarrassment crossing his face.

Later on that day when zoom fatigue was truly setting in, Kit received a private message with a link to a google meet session. “Alright, Kit!’ Odin said sheepishly. ‘I guess you saw how my training has been going!’

With that, Odin stood up again and pulled his shirt up fully, revealing his sizable belly in all its hefty glory. It was much larger than last year, firm and round, jutting out proudly from his otherwise muscular frame. “This,” Odin continued with a chuckle, patting his belly, “is what happens when you mix a love for food with a bit too much fun.”

Kit’s eyes were glued to the screen, his heart pounding. Odin’s nonchalant attitude and confidence as he displayed his body were incredibly captivating. The juxtaposition of his sculpted upper body with his prominent, tight belly was both surprising and intensely arousing for Kit.

“Anyway,” Odin said, sitting back down and readjusting his shirt, “I’m trying to get back on track, but it’s a work in progress.” He laughed, a deep, resonant sound that Kit found both endearing and incredibly attractive. “I’m thinking the Olympics are maybe for another time!’

As the unscheduled breakout session ended and the pair to the main conference zoom, Kit found himself barely able to think straight. His mind kept replaying the moment when Odin’s had shown him his belly. It was so round and inviting. And so perfectly covered in hair! As the event drew to a close, Kit knew one thing for certain: his feelings for Odin had only grown stronger, and he was more determined than ever to find a way to express them. He had a plan.

Part Two here

For more of my stories click here

[sheepispink]

⋆˚｡⋆୨✧୧˚ 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑬𝑺𝑪𝑶𝑹𝑻 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑻𝑶𝑪𝑶𝑳 ˚୨✧୧⋆｡˚⋆

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Chapter 4: Regrets and Bandages

You stroll into the DSO headquarters, the sight looking more simple than the one in Washington DC and you guess it’s to blend in better since this is a rural area. Today, you needed to escort Leon around a formal dinner and, to be honest, it was a little exciting. You’d never been anywhere that sounded that fancy, and despite considering dressing up you decided it’d be better if you blended in since you weren’t exactly as Leon says ‘experienced agent material’. Miami had unfortunately been pushed back due to a lead some agents were tracking about a bioweapon lab that had brought them to this city. So naturally, the DSO would hold their five million briefings or whatever. You didn't really care, you just thought the dinner was going to be very cool to experience, not to mention there could be a hot potential for you waiting there. The automatic doors of the building whir as they open, your feet about to step into the elevator to enter the office when your hand is quickly snatched back, and you look up at the culprit in shock.

“Ahaha.. Escort.. I–there's been a change of plan, actually.” Leon stands before you, looking unusually awkward for how this cocky agent usually acts. You raise an eyebrow before nodding. “Oh? What changed? I thought I always got the first updates..”

“Well–they decided to get rid of plus ones, and um, no one’s assistants are coming either so it’s kind of social. Why don't you take a break too?”

“What? But I thought the point was to discuss the threat of bioweapons-”

He cuts you off quickly with a wave of his hand, before placing it on your shoulder. 

“What??? Who said that?? No, just a formal dinner, nothing for your little head to worry about.” You pull yourself away from his prying fingers as he starts patting your head and treating you like a kid again— why the hell does he always do that??

 “Fine, fine, I got the memo. But I still need to go into the headquarters to finish work, you know?”

“No! I mean, no, you don't. I told you—no assistants are needed, so none are needed. Which means you should go relax in the hotel.”

“Mr. Kennedy, the hotel is horrifying here, well at least mine is. I barely slept last night because of crickets!” You complain to him– you’re practically doing all his work, why don't you get a big fancy room?!

“Really??? That's insane.”

“Can't you at least be empathetic and not sound so sarcastic?”

“Whatever, just go find a café or something alright? I saw a nice one when I was driving up, very pink and girly like you.”

“That was a maid café, sir.”

He almost chokes on his spit at that, those exist?! Out in the open? But you’re still not budging so maybe if he pisses you off you will.

“Go become a maid then. What do I care? I’m letting you rest, and you’re not even taking the opportunity??”

You’ve had enough of him by now, and you can barely hold back the urge to roll your eyes. So reluctantly, you walk out of the building, unaware of the sigh of relief he let out. 

It’s been almost 2 hours since then, the time on your watch reading 2pm. You decided to settle in a café for a while, but you’re getting pretty bored already, resting your cheek on the heel of your palm as you scroll through the pages of proofreading to do. He had sent you another text half an hour ago, saying that the meal had also been moved to later, a bit weird since it was supposed to be lunch, but whatever. With a sigh, you sit up straight and stretch your arms before your eye catches to the sale sign upon the counter. ‘Buy one, get one free, help taste test our new coffee flavours!’

Well, you suppose, since the lunch was moved, you should bring Leon one. Plus, you needed a stretch of your legs desperately.

You reach the DSO building soon after, scanning your key card in and you take the lift upstairs. The area’s awfully quiet, but you pay no mind as you step out and head towards what you assume is the office blocks. Except the fact that most of them are empty, in fact the agents here are sparse despite everyone being invited for the formal event. Maybe they just decided to come later since it changed? You find the receptionist, tapping away at something. 

“Excuse me, do you know where I can find Agent Kennedy? I’m his escort and-”

The lady scoffs as she looks up at you, bringing her glasses closer to her eyes before looking you up and down. “You’re late for the event and you dressed like that for it?”

“What? The event?” You’re completely confused now, having thought it got moved till later.

“Yes? Unless you aren’t an escort. He’s down there either way.” She says, pointing to a hall down the corridor.

“Oh um- I am, i just-”

You don't know what to say, clearly something muddled up here so you just thank her and head towards the room nearby you assume where the event is. But didn’t Leon tell you that no assistants or escorts were allowed anymore?? You peek into the hall, seeing all the agents and plenty of assistants, supervisors, even the damn interns are there. Everyone except you. Then you spot Leon in the corner, chatting away to Chris and his escort you recognise from your short time in the headquarters back in Washington D.C.

He had lied to you. For some reason he hadn’t wanted you there, and you feel a stab of pain trying to understand what could even justify that. You dash around the corner when you hear a group of women approaching, somewhat shy to get caught like this especially after what the receptionist had to say about your outfit. 

“It’s going to be such a good event; every one of the agents will be there!” You hear an intern squeal, dressed in a classy dress as they approach the doors.

“I know! Hey–we can even try to convince one of them to let us be their escort.”

“I call dibs on Agent Kennedy!”

“Oh come on, everyone said he fell off after his latest mission. Besides, I thought he got an escort?”

“Her? Nah, think she’s just temporary. He would’ve brought her into the office this morning when everyone was there otherwise. That's what the other interns said anyway.”

Once they disappear into the hall you walk solemnly back to the reception desk, force a smile and apologise.  “I think I got the wrong building, but these coffees will get cold while I find the right one. You can just take it if you like.” The receptionist looks up at you in surprise as you offer the somewhat expensive coffee, her stern face softening for a moment. “Oh, um thanks.”

You give her a sheepish smile before walking back to the lift, your hands tugging your lanyard off your neck as you contemplate what just happened. You don't even want to. For all the work, all the time and effort just to find out you’re only a temporary fix. What was even the point? You clearly were just some annoying graduate to him, to all of them. 

Eventually, your feet take you to the gas station he had told you to go to earlier. You fiddle with the 20 dollars he had pushed into your hands, not wanting to use his money, but you did want a slushie. Shoving the note into a random homeless person’s cup before entering the gas station,  you flash the bored cashier a small smile as you head for the wall of dispensers. Before you even think twice about the sugar rush, you’re already grabbing a medium-sized cup, the only thing your bank can afford at the moment, before scanning all the flavours with a childish grin. Most would swallow down the sinking feeling in your gut with a drink, but you chose the kid version it seems. Cherry, Blue raspberry and Apple, you’re determined to wash away everything with a brain freeze at this rate. You’re just about to add a layer of cola when you hear a loud crash behind you, and when you turn your head you start wishing you went for the drink instead.

One whiskey in and he’s already forgotten about you, lost in the feeling of the interns flocking to praise him for his work. If this was a month ago, he’d be wasted already and rolling his eyes up at these girls. But he’s not, because you pulled him out of that– though, the string that tied you to that seems to have been cut quickly. Even though Chris was actually being friends with him, he was returning back to his old self, slowly but surely. He can't help but feel a little bit of pride as Chris comes over, asking to have a word with him and some other agents. Before he can even say bye to the interns, one of Hunnigan’s intern runs upon the stage screaming about a B.O.W attack nearby. Someone quickly connects their laptop to the screen, showing the live footage at the moment. Leon’s eyes narrow as he deciphers the area, until he recognises the gas station he told you to go to. But maybe you didn’t? You sent him a picture of the café you were at 2 hours ago, but anything could’ve changed in that time. He exits the event quickly, following behind Chris until he’s momentarily stopped by the receptionist.

“Oh, Agent Kennedy, a young girl came to drop these coffees for you? I told her you were at an event, and then she said she got the wrong person and left it here. Thought you’d want to know.”

He glances at the coffee cup, the name of the shop you were sitting in before. 

“Did she mention where she was going?”

“No, but I saw her head down the street on the cameras.”

Shit, that’s the way to the gas station. He’s praying to everything right now that you’ll be okay.

There's a shattering crash as your body is thrown back against the front of the cashiers desk, the wind knocking right out of your lungs. The bioweapon may not be targeting you specifically but that didn't mean it was going to play nice to get its way, especially when it can easily treat you like a mere toy. You watch the monstrous thing walk over to the cashier at the back of the store, towering over him in a cruel and unforgiving way. Even if you wanted to, you physically couldn't look away from the scene of the helpless man pleading for mercy, until you watch the creature slice open his chest and the blood seeps out. You wish you could cry out but you’re silenced from the fear of following in that man's footsteps and thankfully the bioweapon seems to be occupied with looking for something or someone else. That’s definitely not a promise of safety, though after what you just witnessed, you can't stand around like this. Quietly, you slip behind the counter, still keeping one eye on the horrifying creature as you check the security systems on the computer. Thankfully the protection of their own security systems is awful, and props to your own knowledge, you’re in quickly. You tap away at all the functions, not expecting much since this is a gas station. After all, it’s not like they have machine guns. The only two options for security is to close the shutters or just set an alarm off. The alarm will likely do nothing but irritate the creature more and the shutters will trap you inside here with it. But when there's hundreds of people in this city and only one of you is inside here, you’re starting to consider biting this bullet.

He’s called you at least 4 times, and you still haven't picked up yet, damn you, of all times?? He doesn’t bother with the car, seeing the traffic up ahead and just runs, even if it's miles he has to do at least something for you. The phone almost slips out his grasp when he hears the ding of your text and an incoming call from you.

“Hey–where are you right now?” He almost shouts as he picks up the call, holding it to his ear as he runs.

“Why should I tell you?” He’s stopped at a crossroad, panting a little as he waits for the light to turn.

“Don't bullshit me, escort. This is serious, are you anywhere near that gas station.”

“… I am.” You finally answer, voice quieter and the sound of shuffling through the phone. He’s filled with alarm at the response, his worst fears coming true. “You have to get out of there now, okay?! It’s not safe-”

“I can't.”

“What? Of course you can, just run as far as you can.” He’s confused now and quickly crosses the road as he sees the gas station up ahead. It’s not too far now from the giant sign that makes it obvious to any nearby eye. That's when he sees the shutters closed. “Are you stuck inside? Listen, go to the security desk-”

“I was the one who activated them, Leon.”

Silence rings out over the phone as civilians continue to rush as news spreads. He doesn't know what to say, he knows why you did it and lord he wishes you didn't have to be the one inside stuck with it. He just hopes they’ll get you out before anything.. very bad happens. He’s about to offer some words of reassurance before seeing the phone turn black as your call cuts out, radio silence on your part. The agents are trying to get inside and whilst getting through the shutters won't be necessarily hard, it definitely will take a while. Time that you don't have.

Shit, he calls you again and again until finally he gets through.

“Listen, there are a bunch of agents here to kick that creature's ass, but it’ll take forever to get in with the shutters closed. You have to open them!”

“I can't Leon- I can hear it.” You whisper, voice low, and he can almost hear the shake in your words. “You have to, it’s the only way we can get you out safely.”

“Okay.” You breathe, but suddenly you don't sound all confident like the girl who literally threw his beer bottles away. No, you’re nothing like the confident woman who raised an eyebrow at a dangerous man like himself, telling him that even you could probably aim better. Right now, you’re scared for your life, and he never wants to hear you like that again. The call fades to black, and he’s waiting in anticipation, praying you’ll be okay whilst he grabs a rifle from Chris who’s shouting orders to the group of agents here.

You take the deepest yet quietest breath you can before peeking over the counter, the creature still at the far end of the station. You’re terrified, unbelievably so, but you cannot give in now—not when hope is so close even in the form of your current least favourite person alive. Adrenaline takes over your body, and you slowly sit up from your spot under the counter and creep to the security systems again. The bioweapon had long finished with its victim, a man in his 30s who was now brutally massacred on the floor. You didn’t need to see the sight, hearing it was enough to make your stomach churn uncomfortably. You try to be as quiet as you can but all you can focus on is the pounding of your beating heart as the smell of rotting flesh draws closer. Its slimy arms create a horrifying rattle as it drags itself past the shelves and the plastic promotion signs. The shutters begin to whir, the noise making its head snap to the side but you can't even celebrate the victory as it quickly focuses on you again. How do these creatures even exist?! You were aware of rumours you heard around but still, you chose this job exactly because you’re not hands-on! 

Closer, it drags its feet against the floor with its tongue slowly slipping out, ready to devour you. Your back pressed against the wall, nowhere to run or escape without being instantly caught in its rotting flesh, and you swallow sharply, fearing what's to come.

Leon watches the shutters start to rise and a surge of pride rises for you; no one could persevere in such an awful situation. The group of agents, along with Leon, mount their guns, ready to attack as soon as the shutters lift high enough for them to slip under. Due to the intel from the agents that raided the lab nearby, they already had a good idea of what they were dealing with. It was a test subject, so it wouldn’t really have a ‘mission’ or any knowledge of trying to fight. In fact, it was likely just confused, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t do any real damage. The shutters are almost half way open now, he can see the slushy machines at the far end and make out the feet of the creature. Just a little bit more, and then-

The pain in his heart is unbearable as he hears a scream rip out within the gas station, not once, not twice but three times. Along with the pleads and desperate cries for help and he can't stand it anymore; he has to do something. 

You can't process anything, just choked against the wall knowing you’re in unimaginable pain. Your ears try to focus on the banging of the shutters, someone's rifle peeking under as the person rams it's against the shutters to make enough space. Then you hear a scream of your name, not escort, not kid; Leon is yelling your name as he slides underneath, rifle in hand and a few other agents following too. The gunshots are deafening and everything seems to be a blur into one as the bioweapon takes its slimy hands off your body and drops you to the floor, sending a rush of pain through your back. The sensation wakes you up instantly making you practically jerk from the feeling of every single sense in your body burning alive from pain and fear. It hurts, hurts too much and you don't want to be awake anymore; you just want everything to stop desperately. You don't even notice the mumbles that slip past your delirious lips, begging for relief or something as you lay broken on the ground. 

They were swift with the creature, trapping and capturing it with little effort thanks to you. It could’ve been far worse if it had got into the city; he can't even fathom the casualties. His eyes dart around for you as he slings the rifle over his back, shouting your name once more. He runs behind the counter, where he assumed you were before and is quickly led to the security room by your small mutters. He almost freezes in place when his eyes catch onto the sight of you, guilt weighing him down as he quickly crouches beside you. Only yesterday were you grinning as you walked with him into the plane, the joy obvious on your face at flying business class. Now he had to witness the blood across your body, staining the tiled floor from the countless gashes the creature caused when it dug its claws deep into you. He’d promised himself as an agent that he would make things different; he would save everyone he could. But here you were, because of his selfishness and your selflessness; he’d do anything to turn back time. But he can’t, so he pulls off his suit jacket, not giving a damn about the money it was worth, and wraps it tight around the wound in your leg. You instantly squirm in pain, about to scream again before he places a hand behind your back, rubbing your shoulders with soft whispers.

“I know, I know. I’m getting you out of here, you’re okay. You’re going to be okay.”

Before he knows it he can hear the ambulance outside, sirens screaming at the workers rush out and into the gas station. He stays close to you while you plead for relief, crying out in pain from the damage you were put through, and it only makes him feel worse and worse. He almost fights back when the emergency workers place you on the stretcher; he wants to go with you, accompany you the whole way and tell you that you didn't deserve any of this at all; he needs to tell you he’s sorry before he can't.

You wake in a white hospital room, one for just yourself and the colour is more unnerving than comforting. You hear muffled beeps scream at you as you sit up, numb waves of pain hitting you yet not quite. Everything looks so fake with its shiny walls and the flat mattress beneath you. It’s only when you try to look around that you’re extremely confused, immediately noticing a bunch of cards and flowers on the small desk. Then doctors are rushing into your room and the beeps are louder, and you’re confused—so confused. Who are they? Why are you even in a hospital room? The nurses are gently pushing you back down into the bed whilst another prepares a syringe. Your eyes widen–what is that? Then you see another figure rush in, familiar with that dirty blonde mop of hair though lacking his typical suit today. You try to call out his name, hand weakly rising to reach out to him; you can’t understand why your words are jumbled, why your lips can only mumble and slur and why you can't touch him. The beeping is louder, burning in your ears, and suddenly you feel pain creeping through you like the sea meeting the shore. Your eyes dart back and forth, looking and searching for answers, for an explanation to this. Then you’re wrapped in something warm, and you look down to see a hand— Leon’s hand. He’s rubbing your hand and telling you to stay calm, well at least you think he is because every sound is muffled and blurs in your ears. There's a soft prick in your arm and suddenly your eyes are droopier, heavier, but you don't want to let go just yet. With the last of your strength, you tighten the grip on his hand, squeezing him tight before you slip out of consciousness again.

The next time you wake, you’re a little more cautious and sneaky, not wanting to be sedated yet again. It takes you a while to fully settle your head and realise you had been in a hospital for some reason, and you’re very likely injured of some sort. You peek one eye open, relieved to see no one is in the room this time and there's no annoying beeping either to alert them of your presence. Carefully, you pick yourself up, trying your best not to make a single sound as you lean against the headboard. Only now do you properly take in the surroundings. They’ve changed; you’re in a hotel now which is very fancy and definitely 4* or 5*. Your arms are littered in bandages, and you can feel the stiffness of one restricting your chest which is covered in a thin t-shirt. Then the door creaks open and your eyes go wide, and you try your best to sneak back under the covers, pulling them over your shoulder and ignoring the sting of pain in your abdomen. Slowly, you hear the person enter the room; a small rustle echoes as they tug off their jacket and the chair scrapes beside the bed as they sit down. It’s a few moments before you hear a familiar voice ring out.

“I know you’re awake, y'know? You always slept on your back before, not on your side.”

Mentally, you curse yourself for being so stupid until you crack open one eye again, met by the sight of Leon. You were absolutely sure he was going to give you a deadpan look, tease you, maybe even a jest for pretending to be asleep, but you’re shocked when you’re met with tired, sunken eyes. He looks like he’s been stressed to death about something, worry swirling in his eyes and a nervous tap in his foot until he finally meets your small gaze. His mouth opens to speak, but the words fail him, and he just looks back at you, almost fearful.

“I thought you were a doctor. I didn't want to be sedated again..” His eyes are trained on every little movement as you slowly sit up again, hands twitching to help you if you even so wince. Then his eyes widen at your words, and he pauses, “So you do actually want to talk to me? You weren't pretending because you were trying to avoid me?”

Now you’re confused yet again, rubbing the heavy feeling out of your eyes as you blink in confusion.

“Why would I do that? You saved my life, didn't you?”

“Yes but–” He huffs in relief yet still looks frustrated—with himself more than anything—and steps closer to stand by your bed. His hand grabs one of the pillows, fluffing it absentmindedly, and the way he holds his head in shame is enough to make you believe his anxiety formed from something deeper.

“I lied to you. I told you the lunch had been changed, I told you not to be there, and I told you didn't need to come and dismissed you even when you really wanted to go.” He begins, his hand clenching the soft fabric as the words spill from his lips in waves of remorse.

“I didn't want you there because I feared that my colleagues would mock me. I thought you’d tell them about the work you do and I was ashamed that you end up doing more than me, every damn day. I’m insecure and an idiot; I shouldn't have ever let you leave my side,” This time his eyes glance up at you, a sincerity you’ve never seen before but even more so, a determination you’ve never seen before. “You could’ve been safe beside me, but you weren't. I could’ve protected you from all that pain, hell even if I came with you to that stupid gas station, you’d have been a hundred times safer.” He takes a deep breath, looking at you head on as if preparing for the worst.

“I’m trying to say- I'm sorry, I really am. I messed up, big time, and I'll never forgive myself for not being there to protect you. I’m really sorry, kid.”

You take in his words, each and every one of them, and suddenly the crushing realisation of earlier doesn’t seem too bad now. You had questioned if you were even enough of a person for him, but, right now, he’s questioning if he’s enough for you. “If you don't want the job anymore—I’ll understand. I’ll write you up the best reference you’ve ever seen, it’ll guarantee you whatever job you want. Even that one in cybersecurity you’ve always wanted.”

You pause, realising the sincerity in his words and that he really could get you the dream job you’ve been waiting for since the start. It’s all you’ve ever dreamed; you’ve worked so hard to get there.

“Well.. I mean if you’re offering..” You watch his breath hitch, fearing that you had actually accepted his offer and he’d be left alone forever, but hiding it behind a small nod. From your words already, it seems like his hope was dwindling.

 “But you’ll be writing up that reference 4 years in advance. We still have a contract, remember?”

“Don’t be stupid, that contract will be ripped up; you don't need to be tied down to—“

“I’m saying I want to stay, you idiot.” 

You roll your eyes up at him and pull the pillow out of his hands, laying it behind your head instead “Do you really think I’m gonna let you escape that easily, hm? You still haven't proved to me that you can do as many push-ups as Chris.”

He pauses for a moment and his lips quirk up just slightly before he finally sits on the edge of your bed with a huff of relief. “How are you still a pain in the ass even when injured?.”

“It’s not like you dont deserve it.”

“I’ve got enough guilt, thank you.”

You let out a loud laugh even if it makes your chest ache as he grumbles. “I never knew you could be so dramatic sometimes, y'know? I mean— that whole speech?”

“Yeah shut up, you were out cold for two days, how was I supposed to know if you were going to knock out again?!” 

“Really? Two whole days?”

“Yeah, I've never seen someone get more beauty sleep in their life. Too bad you still have dark circles.”

You cant even get mad, snickering at his comeback as you shake your head. He watches you with an exasperated look as well before he starts fussing over you, asking if anything hurts too much or you’re uncomfortable. Being sweet is not his strong spot, at least that’s what you assume, but it seems pretty obvious to you that he’s never going to let go of you for as long as this contract lasts.

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Prev Next Side Story

[serenefreakgeekao3]

I have one!!!

Jim Halpert x gn!reader with fluff prompt

“Sad…I have a blanket with all this room and no one to share it with.”

With that episode ‘After Hours’ (yes I looked it up 🥲) where Jim is trying to get Cathy out of his hotel room so Dwight helps, but then Jim gets stuck with Dwight. So R comes to Jims rescue and offers him to stay with them in their room.

Summary: Jim is sent on a business meeting along with a few other prospective candidates for Vice President. When everything begins to spiral out of control, Jim doesn’t know who to turn to next //AU where Jim and Pam never got together, Pam went through with her marriage and the two children she has are with Roy, Pam is a sales associate, and Reader is the receptionist / being used as Nellie’s personal assistant Warnings: Use of Y/N, switching POV (between reader and Jim), use of the word ‘whxre’ (not at anyone), Author's Note: I’ll be completely honest my friend, I’ve completely forgotten who Cathy is! If she worked as the receptionist for Dunder Mifflin Scranton, then no she didn’t! In fact she’s not from Scranton at all cause reader doesn’t know her so how about that, there we go. Did I go back and rewatch the episode you mentioned? Yes. did i hate myself for it? Maybe a little bit. But it was during work so what else was i supposed to be doing? Work? Nah (ok look i wrote literal notes for this fic like it was a damn english project in school ok pls love this for me) Also on a side note, there needs to be more fics of Jim Halper x Reader ok I am literally dying without them. picture im like a dehydrated person in the desert just dragging my body around ok I need more fics

Arriving at the hotel in Tallahassee should’ve been a lot smoother than it turned out to be. They were all told that Dunder Mifflin had it ‘handled,’ which should’ve been your first clue. What really tipped you off was the number of rooms available.

“What do you mean? There should be one extra-”

“That’s all the rooms we have on record, sorry.”

“No,” You sighed, rubbing your face with your hands, “No, I know. It’s not your fault at all. Just- do you have any extra available rooms? I’ll pay for it out of my own pocket.” It’s not as if you were being paid millions to be a receptionist at Dunder Mifflin, but you’d rather not have to ask to bunk with anyone. Everyone here were adults, and half of them seemed dead set on performing some sort of sexual act for the evening.

You had driven over with Nellie after she insisted you both carpool to cut costs. Then you had to suffer an entire car ride about how pent up she was, how she just wanted to get laid and she wasn’t above using her decision on who will be the new VP to get herself into bed. You tuned out before she could start listing names since there was nothing in the world you wanted to know less than what kind of guy Nellie was into.

“I’m sorry, it looks like we don’t have any extra rooms available.”

You were about to speak when you were bumped into, turning around to see the large crowd of Dunder Mifflin employees lining up behind you. You start handing out the proper keys to their proper rooms, having Dwight snatch his key cards out of your hand before immediately pouncing on Nellie. You were extremely thankful when Jim finally squeezed his way to the front. You hand over the card you labelled with his name, then sighed, looking back to the woman behind the counter.

“It does seem like there are a few rooms that have been reserved but haven’t been checked into yet. Their estimated check-in times are varied, so if you wait here there is a possibility that I could get a room for you at some point tonight.”

“I would really appreciate that, thank you,” You mumble over to her, then lean closer to Jim when he starts insistently tapping your shoulder.

“Can you be my new Tallahassee buddy? Stanley keeps going on and on about how we’re both bachelors and I’m pretty sure he’s wanting to get laid tonight. And I’m so not about to be around all of that anymore.” You chuckle at the similarities, shaking your head.

“That’s horrible. It’s like there’s something in the air here. Nellie was saying the same stuff during the car ride!” It was hard to talk with the loud crowd, but you weren’t complaining about how close Jim was standing next to you. “Unfortunately, I won’t be much of a buddy today. I would, but the company messed up, they didn’t reserve enough rooms!”

“They didn’t mess up!” You jump at the foreign voice, spinning around to see Nellie sliding up close to you, practically hanging on your shoulder. She already had Dwight and Packer trailing her closely from behind. “I told them the correct number of rooms, I swear it!”

“There’s not one for me-”

“Yeah, because I told them you didn’t need one!” You furrow your brows in confusion, watching her for a moment. “I figured you’d bunk with me! We’d be bunk buddies!”

“Nellie,” You hesitate, eyeing the men behind her before leaning forward, “There is absolutely no way in hell I’m sharing a room with you, considering what you talked about on the way up here.” Nellie stood there for a moment, obviously confused before suddenly jumping and spinning around to see the men trailing her. She laughs loudly, winking at them before turning back to you.

“Oh! Good idea!”

You watch Nellie just say this, then turn and leave. You sigh again, shaking your head and turning toward Jim. “If things can get settled in time I’d love to, Jim, but I-”

“Sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear,” A woman sidled up close, brushing herself against Jim’s arm. You watched the man jump, then turn and furrow his brow at this woman.

“Cathy?”

“Yes! It’s so good to see you, Jim! If you need a new Tallahassee buddy, I am willing and available.” You choked on your spit at the innuendo, watching her practically rub herself again Jim. You watched him try to take a step back, then bump into the counter behind him. You could feel something burning your chest at the way she was acting toward him. Much too forward, in your opinion, though maybe that’s what Jim likes? Should you do that, would that gain his attention?

“Oh, well, that sounds fun-”

“Great! So we can-”

“Hello?” You turn quickly at the receptionist’s insistence, raising your eyebrows toward her in a gesture that you were listening. At this she smiles back, looking back to her computer. “So the first one that may be available should be checking in within the hour. If by the top of the hour they don’t get here, I can make a phone call for you.”

“Oh, thank you so much. Really, I appreciate it.”

“Of course!”

You turn back to Jim, watching the woman walk away with a sway to her hips. You chuckle, shaking your head. “So you know her?”

“Oh, she works with the company.” He tears his eyes away from her, smiling down at you once more. “She’s willing to sit with me so I don’t have to deal with Stanley all weekend.”

“Oh good!”

“Of course, unless you would like to sit with me?” Jim smiles, and you could tell he was trying to charm his way into the seat next to you. If only he knew you would do anything for him.

“If I’m there in time, definitely. But this whole hotel business is turning into a real-” You’re interrupted by a phone call, cursing quietly and smiling apologetically to Jim. “I’m so sorry- I’ll just be a second,” You answer the phone, stepping aside to deal with some business for Nellie. You miss Jim giving you a longing stare before he finally turns around and begins making his way toward the bar.

  Jim felt lonely. He was almost excited to go on this trip, to get away from Scranton and all of the normalcy and monotonous days and maybe even spend some time with you outside of work for once. Or, as outside of work as he could get. But instead, he was sitting at the bar while nursing a drink and wishing you weren’t busy. Your hotel room hullaballoo lasted throughout the entirety of the company meeting, Nellie having complained that she had to take her own notes, and they still haven’t found a spare room for you.

Jim even offered to bunk with you, but then you had mentioned that there was only one bed in every room that was given out, and you had asked with raised eyebrows whether he was fine with sharing a bed with you. Jim- who obviously was more than okay with sharing a bed with you- had stuttered and mumbled and eventually the consensus landed in the field of no, you wouldn’t end up rooming with him. Nor did you have time to be his Tallahassee buddy. Which was extremely unfortunate, since the majority of the reason he had been excited about this trip was you.

Jim jumped at a weird noise, glancing over to see Packer blowing onto Nellie’s face with Dwight making what was probably supposed to be seagull calls into her ear. Sighing, he finished the rest of the drink he was nursing and mumbled something to himself before getting up and heading for his room. Maybe the sooner they’re back in Scranton, the sooner he’ll be able to talk to you again at the receptionist desk like normal. That would be 100% better than anything that was going on in this hotel at the moment.

When he got to his room he had turned on the tv, flipping idly through until he landed on the channel showing an NBA game. He leans back, watching for a little while. He’s not really sure what else to do, he didn’t exactly plan anything aside from ‘See what Y/N is doing and follow them around while they do it’ except you had said waiting in the lobby of the hotel room was extremely boring and you wouldn’t want to put him through that. He had acquiesced- for some reason- and had wandered back to the bar. Thinking back on it now, if you were bored down there then the best thing he could do would be to sit with you and entertain you. How had that thought only just crossed his head?

He was reaching for the remote to turn the tv off when he heard a knock at the door. Redirecting his attention, he left the remote for a moment and went to go see who could possibly be visiting him.

“Hey!” Jim’s brows furrowed seeing Cathy standing there in front of him. “The heating in my room is going a bit wonky, do you think I could hang out here while they fix it?” Without waiting for an answer, Cathy pushes past Jim and into his room.

“O-okay,” Jim drags out the word, closing the door slowly and hesitantly following Cathy into his room.

“What do you have on? Some kind of game?” She jumps onto his bed, scooting near the middle with her back against the bedframe. Jim hesitates, nodding toward the tv.

“Yeah, y’know. The NBA.”

“O-oh, sounds fun,” She sings back, patting the spot beside her. Jim slowly lowers himself onto the corner of the bed, then lets himself continue sliding until he’s sitting on the floor in front of the tv.

“Yeah. Fun.”

“So how’s the night going? Retiring early already?” Jim felt a tap on his shoulder and glanced up to see Cathy laying on her stomach, her head at the foot of the bed and close to Jim. He clears his throat, subtly trying to scoot away. “Didn’t know you were such an old man, Halpert!”

“Yeah, well. You know me. Old man Halpert.”

“Maybe we could stay up a little longer together? Have a little fun?”

Jim jumps up, taking a few steps back from the bed with a stutter. “Oh, you know, actually I was planning on heading down to the lobby-”

“I can come?” She asks, pushing herself up to sit on her legs.

“No, I just meant-”

Another knock on the door interrupts him, and thanking god under his breath he practically ran to the door. “Stanley! You do not know how glad I am to see you!”

“Mmhmm,” Stanley hums, pushing past Jim and walking into his room.

“You should stay! We’re watching the NBA, it’ll be like a party!”

“I’m just here ‘cause I ran out of refreshments in my room.” Stanley straightens up, carrying every single little bottle of alcohol that the hotel provided Jim’s room. Jim watched him look directly at Cathy, then back at Jim with raised eyebrows. Stanley immediately begins his exit, calling out behind him, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

Jim glanced back toward Cathy on his bed, who only taps the bed beside her in an indication to sit down. Jim takes a big sigh, looking back to the tv immediately. He wanders over slowly, taking his position back on the floor.

“Oh! I wonder if you have-” Jim doesn’t hear the rest of it, glancing over to see what Cathy was doing only to be met with her rear-end as she completely bends over at the waist, digging through Jim’s closet. He turns his eyes to the ceiling of the hotel room. What was he supposed to do? Just kick her out? Why was he such a nice person that he didn’t want to hurt her feelings about all of this?

After some time, and Cathy making herself comfortable on Jim’s bed once more, Jim begins to stand and attempt his well-thought-out exit strategy once more.

“Actually, Cathy, I think I’m going to head down to the lobby-”

“Why?” Cathy stood on her knees on the bed, walking over toward the edge and placing a hand flirtatiously on his chest. “Is something the matter with your room?”

“Well- uh, no-”

“Then everything’s good! Come, sit with me!” Cathy jumps back once more, throwing the covers back and settling back in her spot, patting the open area next to her. Jim chokes for a moment, unsure what to do before pulling out his cell phone, and holding a finger up toward Cathy as if asking her to wait.

His plan to call Dwight into action, claiming he had seen a bed bug, hadn’t really worked out exactly as planned. If the plan had been for both Cathy and Dwight to be naked in his hotel room, then it actually went exactly as planned.

Jim was stepping outside of his room for a breather when he finally spotted you. He let out a long sigh, a fond smile lighting up his face without his permission. He wasn’t too worried about it anyway when a matching smile appeared on your face. You were standing near some person who looked to be wearing a hotel uniform, and he jogged over as the person entered the hotel room. “Hey! Did they get you situated finally?”

“Not completely sure?” You hesitated, shrugging at him. “They said they’ve been having some sort of appliance malfunctions on this floor so they need to make sure the room is okay for me to stay in. I asked to tag along, just in case.”

“Well, I hope it works out! Then you’ll be just down the hall from me!”

“Yeah! You could have a visitor for once!” You tease unknowingly, giggling. Jim’s face crashes though, and as he raises a hand to rub his face you begin to grow concerned. “Is everything alright?”

“Well if you count having a naked Dwight in my bed as alright-”

He’s cut off by your laughter, though you’re clearly trying to hold it back. You raised a hand to cover your mouth, and Jim can’t help but smile seeing you act so cute. You finally speak through your laughter, trying to hold yourself together. “Oh, well congratulations I guess? I gotta say, I didn’t see that coming. You and Dwight-”

“No, no, no,” Jim interrupts, laughing himself and shaking his head. You finally dissolve into laughter, and Jim lets the moment last a bit longer before finally explaining. “No, Cathy came into my room.”

“Cathy came by, and now you have a Dwight naked in your bed?” You seemed curious but confused, and Jim could feel his nose scrunch in adoration for you.

“Well, Cathy is naked in my shower so-”

“Oh!” You interrupt, and he could see your cheeks lighting up red. “Oh, I didn’t realize. You two-”

“No!” Jim calls out, probably a bit too loud and too quickly. He clears his throat, leaning closer to you and slumping his shoulders. “No, I mean, she obviously wants to. She told me her room was having heating problems and then has done everything in her power to flirt with me since pushing herself into my room. I’ve tried everything to be polite, I really don’t know what else to do.”

“And,” You begin, narrowing your eyes at him, “I’m still failing to see how a naked Dwight comes into play.” He laughs, then watches as your smile widens as he does.

“Well I kept trying to tell her I needed to leave, but she kept insisting I stayed. Then Stanley came by and stole my alcohol, and he was absolutely no help at all. So I called Dwight. Told him I saw a bed bug in my bed. He came through tearing my room apart, and Cathy said she was going to go take a shower in my room?” He rubs a hand across his face, shrugging. “Everything kinda devolved from there. He started stripping, saying he needed all the skin access he can have, that his body heat was going to attract the bed bugs to his body.”

“The bugs that- aren’t there?” You question, raising an eyebrow. He nods along and you laugh, shaking your head. You’re both quiet for a moment before you take a step toward him. Jim could feel his heart rate beginning to spike at your closeness. “But, help me out here. All this just because what? You don’t want to have sex with her?” Jim watched some sort of emotion cross over your face, though it was brief enough that he couldn’t quite catch it. “I mean, she seems like a good person?”

“She’s not the one I want though,” Jim mumbles, staring into your eyes. ‘Woah there, Jimboy,’ He thinks to himself, taking a deep breath to calm himself but only inhaling more of your scent, setting butterflies fluttering in his stomach. “I- I just mean, well. I like someone. And it’s not her.”

You were just opening your mouth to say something- ‘Anything, say anything,’ Jim pleaded in his head- when you were interrupted before you could even start.

“I tried my best, but I couldn’t get it to work. I don’t think this room is hospitable. I’m sorry.” You had turned around, taking a step away from Jim. He could finally breathe normally now, though he would still much rather be in your orbit than face the possibility of going back to his room to deal with things.

“Oh, that’s alright. I guess I can go see Tara back at check-in and see if she has anything else.” The disappointment in your voice had Jim’s chest clenching, and he reached forward to take your hand before you could walk away.

“My offer is still open, you know.” You laugh at him, shaking your head and pulling your hand away gently.

“What, stay with you and your two naked roommates?” Jim could feel his face begin to blush, and you shook your head once more. “Go have fun, Jim.” You walk away with an audible sigh, and Jim knew he would have done anything to make you happy again.

  ‘Go have fun, Jim,’ You mock back at yourself, shaking your head. ‘Yes, just tell your crush to go have sex with someone ‘willing and available,’ that’s the exact thing you need to be doing.’ You were currently sitting on the uncomfortable furniture in the check-in waiting area, balancing your briefcase on your knees and hoping desperately that everyone in Scranton that wanted your attention via phone had finally gone to bed. You hadn’t received a ‘super important’ not-so-important phone call for the last thirty minutes, so your hopes were beginning to look up.

“Excuse me, Y/L/N?”

“Yes?” You stumble as you stand, fumbling with your briefcase before finally catching it and dropping your phone. Thankfully, Tara waits patiently for you to pick up your phone as well before you rush over to her desk. She had been so helpful, and it had only taken you an hour of being in her company before remembering it was polite to ask about names.

“I’ve just got off the phone with-” She hesitates, glancing at her computer and scanning it before huffing and turning her attention back to you, “Well, doesn’t matter. They aren’t showing up, they told me as much. So we finally have a room available to you! I sent Max back up to check the room again, but if I remember correctly then this isn’t one of the ones having problems!”

“Oh, Tara, thank you so much!” You lean across the counter, and thankfully Tara meets you halfway for an awkward hug. She giggles as she backs away, leaning over and placing a card key on the counter.

“And it’s on the house, darling.”

“What? No, I couldn’t do that to you, Tara!”

“Look, with the whole misunderstanding, and then you having to stand here for hours and just wait around while that cute guy kept coming back trying to get your attention-”

“Wait, who, Jim?” You ask breathlessly, sliding the card into your hand. You laugh, though Tara seems unconvinced. “Oh, no, we’re just friends. It’s nothing like all that-”

“Sure, darling. Just take the room.”

“Thank you again!”

You back up, turning to quickly run into the room and almost knock directly into the camera guy that seems to have taken the position of following you around constantly. You sigh, nodding at the guy behind the camera before taking off quickly.

Your room was in the same hallway as Jim’s, and you weren’t sure yet whether you were going to curse the fact or thank Tara with an entire fruit basket. You were about to find out, though, now that you’d set your briefcase down and had taken a cursory look through the room. Making sure to have your card key on you, you exit the room at the end of the hallway and begin what felt like a walk of doom to where you knew Jim was staying- the room he had exited earlier in the night when you had almost been given a room and he had seen you.

As you were getting closer, you started hearing some kind of commotion. It sounded like muffled yells- then extremely loud screams as Jim’s door is flung open. A woman- Cathy- comes running out with a bedsheet held around her body, screaming and waving her free arm around her head as she pushes past you and runs down the hall. You hesitate, then take a few steps closer, just in time to hear Dwight’s mumbled voice.

“It’s not safe in here, Jim. I think you should room with Cathy for the night.”

You knock on the open door, peaking your head in to see Dwight with a facemask and large rubber gloves, holding two different spray bottles with some weird coloured liquids inside. Dwight was practically in Jim’s face, though at your knock they both turn to look at you. Dwight with exasperation, and Jim with nothing but relief.

“Y/N! Yes, please, save me from this nightmare.” He rushes toward you, taking one of your hands with both of his and practically drowning you with puppy dog eyes. You take in a quick breath before Dwight begins to crowd the both of you.

“No! Nope! No more bodies need to be added to the situation, go flirt outside.” Dwight slams the door closed behind the two of you, and you couldn’t help the small laugh that bubbles up.

“So, naked Cathy and Dwight turn into-”

“Naked Cathy running away clutching a bedsheet and a fully decked-out Dwight spraying my room with mysterious chemicals? I guess so.” You both laugh and you could feel your cheeks heating up at Jim’s attention. “But, seems like I just lost my room.”

“Oh, what a shame,” You mumble, waiting for him to look back into your eyes before your smile grows wider. “So sad… I have a blanket with all this room and no one to share it with.”

Jim’s face lights up and he starts looking up and down the hallway as if your room number would just jump out in front of him. “Wait you finally got a room? That’s amazing, Y/N!”

“We finally got a room,” You insist, then hesitate as he locks eyes with you again, “I mean, if you’re still-”

“Yes!” Jim jumps in, grinning. “I would love to. Should’ve said that to begin with.” You both laugh, and you lead him down the hall to your room. Once inside, Jim begins to take a look around while you grab the remote, pushing yourself onto your bed and settling your back against the bedframe. As you turn on the tv, you start flipping through the channels.

“Shouldn’t you go back and rescue your stuff from Dwight’s wrath?”

“I think I’ll give it a night to air out,” Jim mumbles, settling himself slowly at the head of your bed, scooting in to sit next to you. You settle your channel-flipping on some sort of basketball game. You didn’t know much about it yourself, but nothing else seemed interesting and you knew Jim liked the game.

“So,” You begin, turning your position to face Jim fully. “Tell me all about what happened.” He laughs in response, raising a hand to rub the back of his head.

“Oh, well. I basically told you everything already. After you left I went back to my room and Cathy had apparently decided not to put on any clothes and just jumped under the covers on my bed like she owned the place. I got really sick of all of her flirting, so I tried telling her straight to her face, ‘Cathy, I’m sorry but I’m not interested.’”

“Really? Appropriate, given the circumstances.”

“Yeah, I thought so too. She just looked at me like I was crazy and asked if that’s what I thought of her. If I thought she was a whore.” You gasped at the name and Jim nodded, turning to look at you more directly as well. “Of course, I said no. Then she just said ‘Okay good, that’s settled,’ and then continued to flirt with me!”

“No!” You gasped, laughing again. “You did everything including telling her you weren’t interested and she still kept pressing on!”

“Yeah! So I called Dwight back. He came running in with those spray bottles and she tried insisting she didn’t see anything, but when Dwight asked ‘Where’s the bug?’ I didn’t even think about it, I just pointed straight at her.” You widened your eyes, unconsciously scooting closer. You watched Jim track your movement, his grin widening. “She screamed when he started spraying her and jumped off the bed and I thought to myself, ‘Well she got that far, I wonder if she’ll go all the way?’ So then Dwight asked if I saw it and I kept pointing at the sheet she was clutching around herself and-”

“That’s why she ran screaming from your room!” You blurt out, placing your hand on his arm, and then you both begin laughing. “That’s horrible!”

“I know! How could Dwight do something like that!” You laugh harder, shaking your head. After you both manage to calm down, another thought strikes your mind.

“So,” You begin, biting your lip and unsure how to phrase this. “You kept saying that you were sending signals that you obviously didn’t want to do anything with her, right?” You look up toward him, watching his eyes track your lips, realising you're biting them again.

“Uh- well, yeah. Yeah, I did that. It was like she was blind or something.” Jim mumbled, the tips of his cheeks were turning pink and it looked way too nice on him. “Or just, y’know, deliberately ignoring them.”

“What were they?” You ask- mumble, more than anything. Jim hesitates for a second, tilting his head.

“What?”

“What were the signs?” You could see the moment it registers what you’re asking in his eyes when they slightly widen.

“Oh, well. When she originally came in, she jumped on my bed and patted the spot next to her. I ended up sitting on the very corner of it,” He turned to point at the corner of your own bed as if you needed an explanation, then turned back toward you. “But even that felt a bit too much like giving in so I just ended up sort of sliding onto the floor. The entire time she was there I was either standing or sitting on the floor at the end of the bed watching tv.”

“Oh,” You whisper, trying to keep a smile tampered down at the fact that Jim had unflinchingly sat right next to you at the head of the bed. “Well, what else?”

“She tried to bend over directly in front of me.”

“No,” You gasp, laughing again. You hear Jim chuckle a bit before he continues.

“Yeah. I just looked up the whole time, I didn’t want to disrespect her or anything. Then there were the innuendos.”

“O-oh,” You drew out, smirking at him. “Saying innuendos to one Jim Halpert. I’m surprised you could resist her.” He’s quiet after, staring into your eyes. You begin to worry you said the wrong thing before he finally speaks up, his voice sounding a little rough.

“Yeah, maybe if it wasn’t her saying them.” You bite your lip, watching him momentarily before looking away and pretending to watch basketball.

“So what kinds of things did she say then?” As you finally glance back Jim just shrugs, looking quickly at the tv. Was he trying to pretend he wasn’t staring at you? Had he been staring at you? You bite your lip once again, thinking hard. “Ohh, I’m just so cold.” You tried to push your voice into a sultry tone and felt satisfied when Jim turned suddenly, his eyes wide and cheeks red.

“What?”

“That was one of the things she tried, right?” You asked, indicating what you had meant by saying that. You could feel Jim slowly relaxing against you and- wait, against you? When had the two of you got so close that your arms were resting against each other? Your faces were even closer than you remembered and you were beginning to get lost in his eyes.

“Y/N?” You blink a few times, realizing you had zoned out for a moment. If he had answered you, you had definitely missed it.

“Yeah?” You couldn’t help how breathless your voice sounded, and you could only hope that Jim wouldn’t realize why and then leave.

“Are you cold?” His voice was low and rough again and distracted you from the words he said for a few beats too long. Even after, his words had your brain scrambling to a halt, and you could feel your mouth opening and closing- gaping like a fish. How attractive. And yet, through all this Jim maintained how close he was to you. How he was slightly hunching over, his face closer to yours than it maybe should’ve been.

“I- yes,” You answer, nodding your head slowly, in obvious disbelief. “Yes, I’m cold.”

“Would you like help to warm up?” Jim was already shifting slowly, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you in closer to him.

“Yes, I- I would,” You stutter out, pushing yourself slowly down to lay your head on his chest. Once the both of you were settled, you were essentially laying together on your hotel bed and were cuddling. You were laying on Jim, you could feel his chest rising and falling with breath, and you had your arms wrapped around him to hold him close and he was letting you.

Maybe this trip didn’t turn out so bad after all.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

A "secure" system can be the most dangerous of all

Two decades ago, my life changed forever: hearing Bruce Schneier explain that “security” doesn’t exist in the abstract. You can only be secure from some threat. A fire alarm won’t protect you from burglaries. A condom won’t protect you from mass shootings. It seems obvious, but how often do we hear about “security” without any mention of who is being made secure, and from which threat?

Take the US welfare system. It is very “secure” in that it is hedged in by a thicket of red-tape, audits, inspections and onerous procedures. To get food stamps, housing vouchers, or cash aid, you must navigate a Soviet-grade bureaucratic system of Kafkaesque proportions. Indeed, one of the great ironies of the post-Cold War world is that the USA has become a “Utopia Of Rules” (as David Graeber put it), subjecting everyday people to the state-run bureacracies that the USAUSAUSA set endlessly ridiculed the USSR for:

https://memex.craphound.com/2015/02/02/david-graebers-the-utopia-of-rules-on-technology-stupidity-and-the-secret-joys-of-bureaucracy/

(The right says it wants to “shrink the US government until fits in a bathtub — and then drown it” — but not the whole government. They want unlimited government bloat for that part of the state that is dedicated to tormenting benefits claimants, especially if its functions are managed by a Beltway Bandit profiteer who bills Uncle Sucker up the wazoo for rubber-stamping “DENIED” on every claim.)

The US benefits system has a sophisticated, expensive, fully staffed anti-fraud system — but it’s a highly selective form of anti-fraud. The system is oriented solely to prevent fraud against itself, with no thought to protecting benefits recipients themselves from fraud.

And those recipients — by definition the poorest and most vulnerable among us — are easy pickings for continuous, ghastly, eye-watering acts of fraud. These benefits are distributed via prepaid debit cards — EBT Cards — that lack the basic security measures that every other kind of card has had for years. These are simple magstripe cards, lacking basic chip-and-pin defenses, to say nothing of contactless countermeasures.

That means that fraudsters can — and do — install skimmers in the point-of-sale terminals used by benefits recipients to withdraw their cash benefits, pay for food using SNAP (AKA Food Stamps), and receive other benefits.

It’s impossible to overstate how widespread these skimmers are, and how much money criminals make by stealing from poor people. Writing for Businessweek, Jessica Fu describes the mad scramble benefits recipients go through every month, standing by ATMs at midnight on the night of the first of every month in hopes of withdrawing the cash they use to pay for their rent and utility bills before it is stolen by a crook who captured their card number with a skimmer:

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2023-06-28/ebt-theft-takes-millions-of-dollars-from-the-neediest-americans

One of Fu’s sources, Lexisnexis Risk Solutions’s Haywood Talcove, describes these EBT cards as having the security of a “glorified hotel room key.” He recounts how US police departments saw a massive explosion in EBT skimming: from 300 complaints in January 2022 to 18,000 in January 2023.

The skimmer rings are extremely well organized. The people who install the skimmers — working in pairs, with one person to distract the cashier while the other quickly installs the skimmer — don’t know who they work for. Neither do the people who use cards cloned from skimmer data to cash out benefits recipients’ accounts. When they are arrested, they refuse to turn on their immediate recruiters, fearing reprisals against their families.

These low-level crooks stroll up to ATMs and feed a succession of cloned cards into them, emptying account after account. Or they swipe cards at grocery checkouts, buying cases of Red Bull and other easily sold grocery products with some victim’s entire SNAP balance.

Some police agencies are pursuing these criminal gangs and trying figure out who’s running them, but the authorities who issue SNAP cards are doing little to nothing to stop the pipeline at their end. Simply upgrading SNAP terminals to chip-and-pin would exponentially raise the cost and complexity that thieves incur.

Indeed, that’s why every other kind of payment card uses these systems. How is it that these systems were upgraded, while SNAP cards remain in mired in 20th century “glorified hotel room key” territory? Well, as our friends on the right never cease to remind us: “incentives matter.”

When your credit card gets cloned, it’s your banks and credit card company that pays for the losses, not you. So the banks demanded (and funded) the upgrade to new anti-fraud measures. By contrast, most states have no system for refunding stolen benefits to skimmers’ victims.

In other words, all of the anti-fraud in the benefits system is devoted to catching benefits cheating — a phenomenon that is so rare as to be almost nonexistent (1.54%), notwithstanding right wingers’ fevered, Reagan-era folktales about “welfare queens”:

https://blog.gitnux.com/food-stamp-fraud-statistics/

Meanwhile, the most widespread and costly form of fraud in the benefits system — fraud perpetrated against benefits recipients — is blithely ignored.

Really, it’s worse than that. In deciding to protect the welfare system rather than welfare recipients, we’ve made it vastly harder for benefits claimants who’ve been victimized by fraudsters to remain fed and sheltered. After all, if we made it simple and straightforward for benefits recipients to re-claim money that was stolen from them, we’d make it that much easier to defraud the system.

“Security” is always and forever a matter of securing some specific thing, against some specific risk. In other words, security reflects values — it reveals whose risk matters, and whose doesn’t. For the American benefits system, risks to the system matter. Risks to people don’t.

It’s not just the welfare system that prioritizes its own risks against the people it exists to serve. Think of the systems used to fight drug abuse in clinical settings.

Medical facilities that use or dispense powerful pain-killers have exquisitely tuned, sophisticated, frequently audited security systems to prevent patients from tricking their doctors or pharmacists into administering extra drugs (especially opioids). “Extra” in this case means “more drugs than are strictly necessary to manage pain.”

The rationale for this is only incidentally medical. Someone who gets a little too much painkiller during a medical procedure or an acute pain episode is not at any particular risk of enduring harm — the risks are minor and easily managed (say, by keeping a patient in bed a little longer while they recover from sedation).

The real agenda here is preventing addiction and abuse by addicted people. There’s a genuine problem with opioid abuse, and that problem does have its origins in overprescription. But — crucially — that overprescription wasn’t the result of wimpy patients insisting on endless painkillers until they enslaved themselves to their pills.

Rather, the opioid epidemic has its origins in the billionaire Sackler crime family, whose Purdue Pharma used scientific fraud, cash incentives, and other deceptive practices to trick, coerce, or bribe doctors into systematically overprescribing their Oxycontin cash cow, even as they laundered their reputation with showy charitable donations:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/07/12/monopolist-solidarity/#sacklers-billions

The Sacklers got to keep their billions — and people undergoing painful medical procedures or living with chronic pain are left holding the bag, subject to tight pain-med controls that forces them to prove — through increasingly stringent systems — that they truly deserve their medicine.

In other words, the beneficiary of the opioid control system is the system itself — not the patients who need opioids.

There’s an extremely disturbing — even nightmarish — example of this in the news: the Yale Fertility Clinic, where hundreds of women endured unimaginably painful egg harvesting procedures with no anaesthesia at all.

These women had complained for years about the pain they suffered, and many had ended up needing emergency care after the fact because of traumatic injuries caused by undergoing the procedure without pain control. But the doctors and nurses at the Yale clinic ignored their screams of pain and their post-operative complaints.

It turned out that an opioid-addicted nurse had been swapping the fentanyl in the drug cabinet for saline, and taking the fentanyl home for her own use.

This made national headlines at the time, and it is the subject of “The Retrievals,” a new New York Times documentary series podcast:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/22/podcasts/serial-the-retrievals-yale-fertility-clinic.html

If the pain medication management system was designed to manage pain, then these thefts would have been discovered early on. If the system was designed so that anyone who experienced pain was treated until the pain was under control, the deception would have been uncovered almost immediately.

As Stafford Beer said, “the purpose of any system is what it does.” The pain medication management system was designed to manage pain medication, not pain itself.

The system was designed to be secure from opioid-seeking addicted patients. It was not designed to make patients secure from pain. Its values — our values, as a society — were revealed through its workings.

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this thread to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/13/whose-security/#for-me-not-thee

[Image ID: A down-the-barrel view of a massive, battleship-gray artillery piece protruding from the brick battlement of a fortress. From the black depths of the barrel shines a red neon 'EBT' sign.]

Image: Bjarne Henning Kvaale (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Oscarsborg_28cm_Krupp_cannon_4_-_panoramio.jpg

CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

[boatem-probler]

And Now for Something Completely Different, in... Tokyo Soul!

1 / 2 / You Are Here! / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

Smaller batch of episodes today, just a strange little mini-arc while Taurtis is presumably unavailable.

This report contains mentions of: gross humor, sexual humor, and harassment.

Previously on Tokyo Soul:

Grian: “I’m into dudes.”

“Fully Cooked Ramen?”

Grian: “Hey, Mr. Principal! :) Your teacher gave us snipers! :) I don’t know what kind of circus you’re running here! :)”

This Time...

Episode 11 – THE SUPER STORE

We open on Grian walking in on Sam in the bathroom. Sam makes Grian wipe for him. I wouldn’t relate this but I’ve seen people mentioning it out of context and was confused, and thought others may have also been confused. So allow me to clear up the confusion. There was never any context to begin with.

Also, Taurtis was taken away in the night by “officers” for not having the proper visa, Señor Loro reports. He promptly leaves.

Oh also it’s the weekend apparently, so they don’t have school. Instead, Sam has scheduled a job interview for them. Which is good, since Sam just spent the last of their money on KitKats.

Sam also steals a teddy bear from the hotel gift shop.

They ask Igbar for directions to the superstore, because Igbar knows where everything is. He also gives them his umbrella.

They arrive at the superstore, where they and the only other non-manager employee, Jason, immediately antagonize each other.

They’re interviewed by the manager, Mr. Nautilus, and Sam overshares quite a bit. Luckily, Mr. Nautilus also has a dead girlfriend, so he and Sam have a point of commonality.

Also, Tokyo Soul takes place in That One Time 2027, according to the calendar on the wall.

Mr. Nautilus doesn’t like either of the boys, but the superstore is short staffed, so they’re hired anyway! They’re each given a key to the bathroom and a company credit card.

Episode 12 – I HATE JASON

Sam and Grian have changed into their work uniforms. Also, it seems that Jason and Mr. Nautilus were watching them change through the bathroom mirror, which is in fact just a window. Okay.

The principal is shopping at the superstore and Grian immediately tears back into him about his staff.

They try to sell the principal a watch. Jason steals their sale.

Books that are for sale at the superstore: Squid Erotica. The Normie’s Guide to Memes. Why Squids Can’t Be Trusted. History of Anime. If Microwaves Could Dream. How to Lick Feet: For Dummies. Theoretical Panty Physics. Encyclopedia of Aliens.

Apparently the squid erotica is a priceless heirloom belonging to Mr. Nautilus, and the boys weren’t supposed to sell it. They also have no idea how the cash register works. Jason continues to antagonize them by being more competent than they are.

Professor Geode is here. He now has a disconcertingly wide smile, and his face appears to be glitching, or possibly melting. He requires trash and human waste. Mr. Nautilus is not pleased that the boys let him into the staff bathroom.

Professor Geode requires human food. Jason swoops in to sell him a bike, assuring him that it’s perfectly edible, and he can in fact feed it to people.

Also, Jason can teleport maybe??

Episode 13 – KILL JASON!

Sam and Grian hide in the electronics section to come up with a plan to get Jason fired, but Jason teleports behind them, so they relocate to the bathroom. They still appear to be unaware of Jason and Mr. Nautilus watching them through the mirror-window.

Grian’s plan is to push over some shelves and make it look like Jason did it. Sam’s plan is to push the shelves onto Jason, and break his legs. Grian insists that they are NOT going to kill anyone in this town, but eventually says that breaking Jason’s legs might be “for the best”. They are then called to the manager’s office.

He just wants to chew them out for not being more like Jason, rather than for threatening to break Jason’s legs.

Jason is now wearing Grian’s head???? He’s pretending to be Grian’s reflection for some reason??

A customer wants something for “chop chop”. Sam tries to sell them a garden trowel. Jason shows up and sells them a giant anime sword. They want him to test it on Grian and Sam.

Grian and Sam are sent to clean the bathroom. They continue to discuss strategy.

Sam: "Do you want me to set him on fire?" Grian: "Um… I would, but I think that’s illegal."

Mr. Nautilus is now wearing Sam’s head?? I honestly can’t tell if they’re supposed to actually be acting as Sam and Grian’s reflections or what. What the hell is going on in the superstore.

Sam and Grian successfully sell some guy panties for 500 or 5000 dollars, I’m not sure what exactly the exchange rate is between dollars and gold bars retextured to look like 1000 yen bills.

……But then it turns out the guy is a known counterfeiter, whose money will explode if you try to use it.

They try to slip the fake money into Jason’s cash register, but Jason catches them, so they decide to just go with plan B, which is “bring him into the bathroom and waterboard him in the toilet”. This also fails, because he still has that giant anime sword. AND a katana.

Sam and Grian decide to quit.

Mr. Nautilus claims they signed a contract and he can get them deported. Sam and Grian tell him this is bullshit, and just make a run for it.

Sam shows Grian around their house, as this is the first time he’s been there. Sam assigns Grian the dingy basement.

The sushi from episode 1 is STILL on their table.

Grian Trauma Count!

Traumatic Events:

Taurtis being deported is kind of glossed over because it’s probably just an excuse for why CC!Taurtis couldn’t film that day, but I would think that would count.

Bathroom Mirror-Window.

Threatened with two giant swords by Jason.

Next Time... Taurtis Is Back!

[poliwhirl42]

Burgundy was beside herself. Out of all the terrible circumstances she could've found herself in, this was among her worst nightmares.

A few hours ago, she’d had the misfortune of running into the very bane of her existence- another sick irony with it being the very same PokéMart near Castelia City that she’d crossed paths with him (and his two cronies) a few years prior.

To add to her bad luck, the already bad weather had picked up into a torrential downpour during this chance meeting with her rival, immediately halting her plans to swiftly exit the building and get on the next subway to Arceus-knows-where.

Cilan had suggested they walk to the nearby Pokémon Center, but to their dismay, pretty much everyone in the vicinity had the same idea to request a room for the night, and they found the center completely booked. Burgundy seethed as she and Cilan (against her will) walked out of the building towards the subway, leaving an apologetic Nurse Joy and Audino behind, continually suggesting to latecomers that they try hotels in Castelia City. 

Upon reaching their destination with painful small talk among the throngs of soaking-wet travelers also trying to find shelter for the night, they finally entered one of Castelia’s more reputable hotels and dashed to the lobby, wet clothes sticking to their skin, praying to Arceus that there were two rooms available. Burgundy counted her lucky stars that, amidst Cilan’s annoying bragging, he had a membership to this particular hotel chain that was “guaranteed to accommodate a gym leader and A-Class Pokémon Connoisseur like himself.”

And then, came the apologetic half-smile from the concierge. “I’m so sorry, but it appears that we only have one room available. Is that alright?”

“We’ll take it,” Cilan said quickly, before Burgundy had the chance to respond in a flustered outrage. His normally calm green eyes bore into hers with a hard look that insisted they didn’t have much else of a choice at this point. Gritting her teeth, she relented, and after a swift swipe of Cilan’s credit card and a press of a plastic room key card to his palm, they made their way to the fifth floor.

And then, he clicked the door open, and they were met with one, king-sized- and admittedly, incredibly cozy and inviting after the day they’ve had- bed.

One.

Heat rose to Burgundy’s cheeks as she stared wide-eyed at the bed, horrified by what this could mean.

Cilan cleared his throat a bit awkwardly, before taking a breath, sensing her discomfort. “I’ll call down and request to have some extra bedding sent up to assemble on the floor. You take the bed,” he offered graciously.

Burgundy looked away, guilt rushing into her system. She wished one of Georgia or Trip’s Ice-Types could suddenly materialize and blast away her seemingly permanent blush with cold air. 

“Pas besoin de ça,” she responded finally, in a quiet voice. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Cilan nodded, seamlessly hiding the relief he felt at not having to sleep, while thoroughly exhausted and chilled to the bone from the rain, on an old carpeted floor. “Only if you’re comfortable with it.”             

“BUT!” She then turned to him and jabbed a finger into his chest, angry eyes glinting. “I will personally call the League and have you excommunicated from your gym leader position if you dare lay a hand on me! I won’t fall for your tricks, sale pervers!”

Cilan smiled and bowed, then raised his right hand as if taking an oath. “I can assure you I wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing.” He reached down and hauled his backpack onto the hotel desk, taking out a small toiletries pouch and a bundle of clothing. “For now, let’s get some much-needed rest.”

Burgundy’s hands balled into fists at how utterly unfazed he was by this unfortunate predicament. Waiting for him to disappear into the bathroom, she made quick work of changing into her pajamas and slid into the bed. She had to admit, she practically sunk into pillows, the warmth and softness of the bedding enveloping her like a cloud. Bitter circumstances aside, she could stand to push her pride out of the way for what probably might be the best sleep of her life.

Cilan came out, donning a modest pajama set, and set his unused toiletries down on the desk next to his backpack and pokéballs. He then turned and headed for the bed, eyeing Burgundy as he peeled back the duvet on his side, and climbed in. The pink that had since left Burgundy’s cheeks instantly returned, unfamiliar with the close proximity she now shared with her rival, of all people.  

“We could make a wall of pillows,” he suggested humorfully. 

Burgundy snorted. “Am I that repulsive to you?” 

He laughed. “Not in the slightest. I just thought it might make things more comfortable for you.”  

She frowned. “I’ll be sleeping as far away as possible regardless, you immonde créature.” She exaggeratedly scooted as far to the left side of the bed as possible, being sure to clutch the edge to avoid falling off. 

He chuckled. “Whatever works best for you.”

Burgundy rolled her eyes, before reaching over to shut off the lamp, settling in a bit more comfortably. She wondered briefly if Cilan was more of a night owl, and if he’d wanted to stay up a bit more reading or watching television or doing whatever the hell it was that he did in his free time, but now that the light was off, it was too late to go back on that. After all, it was well after 11 p.m. and she didn't need a Psychic-type to tell that he’d also had quite the taxing day. 

“Well, goodnight,” she said at last, into the dark.

“Goodnight, Burgundy,” he said back, his voice already heavy with sleep. “Sleep well.” He then shifted a bit and turned on his side, his back to her, in efforts to give her even more privacy. 

At this, Burgundy let her mind wander a bit. She couldn’t shake the weird sting of disappointment she felt. But for what? What did she think might happen? What did she want to happen?

She then heard the gentlest sound of Cilan’s breathing, and grimaced. His grace and elegance in everything, even in the simplest way he snored, both irritated and dazzled her. 

In the safety of the dark- and making sure Cilan was definitely sound asleep- an indulgent scenario came to mind. In another life, a life in which she willed herself into being amicable- perhaps even more so- with him, they were stumbling into the room after escaping the rain, slamming the door shut and engaging in a heated makeout, bowties and vests and loafers strewn carelessly along the floor, until they finally collapsed on the bed in a panting heap. In the morning, they’d wake up in each other’s arms, among a disheveled mess of sheets and dare-she-say nakedness, totally not resembling scenes she’d oftenly fantasized about seen in the movies.

A quick flash and loud clap of thunder jolted her from her reverie, and she immediately cursed herself for indulging in something so disturbing with her self-proclaimed sworn enemy not even a foot away. Bringing her hands to cover her beet-red face, she slowly inhaled and exhaled.

She wasn’t ready to come to terms with the fact that she found Cilan attractive. And she wouldn’t breathe a word of that to anyone- not even Georgia- when she could barely stand to admit it to herself. For now, the unbreakable wall would stay up, and she’d continue to excel as a successful Pokémon Connoisseuse, and use whatever future run-ins with Cilan as a grand opportunity to rub her newest achievements in his face.  

An overwhelmingly drowsy sensation was beginning to overtake her, and attempting to drown out the noise from the thunderstorm- and the noise in her mind- she mirrored Cilan’s position, flopping on her side away from him, and pressed one of the pillows to her ear, eventually giving into sleep.

-*-

Burgundy awoke to the sound of quiet rustling. Still a bit half-asleep, she slowly sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes to find Cilan, freshly showered and dressed, packing up his things and preparing bowls of pokemon food for Pansage, Crustle and Stunfisk, who sat patiently in the corner of the room. He glanced up upon hearing her stir and smiled warmly.

“Good morning. How did you sleep?”

“Fine,” she muttered, glaring up at him beneath unbrushed purple curls. “And you?”

“I slept quite well,” he replied, before faltering. “Although…”

She narrowed her eyes and raised a suspicious eyebrow. “What?”

“It’s nothing.” He chuckled a bit nervously.

She growled dangerously, eyes burning into him. “Tell me or else.”

He set down the bowl of food for Stunfisk before straightening up. “Forgive me for overstepping, but…I think you really ought to invest in a CPAP machine. I hear they help immensely with sleep apnea!” he suggested cheerily.

Burgundy gaped at him. “WHAT?! What in the world prompted you to suggest such a thing?!”

“Well…in all honesty, I thought at first it might have been the thunder, but-”

“Do I snore?!”

“Well…perhaps.”

“Do I or don’t I?!”

He paused, then sighed resignedly. “...Yes. Like an Emboar.”

Burgundy felt her face turning red for perhaps the tenth time in the past 24 hours, and instinctively grabbed a pillow and chucked it at Cilan, hitting him square in the face.

“I might’ve deserved that.”

“You also deserve the privilege of buying me breakfast,” she quipped as she got up, brushing past him to gather her things and ready herself in the bathroom.

Cilan shook his head, amused and oddly grateful for the circumstances they’d found themselves in yesterday that led to now.

“I’d like nothing more,” he said to himself, with a smile.

[thesaleswhisperer]

Morra Aarons-Mele, The Anxious Achiever, Is On The Sales Podcast

Professional Sales Tips you’ll learn today on The Sales Podcast…

Manage anxiety to still excel in business and in life.

Anxious, depressed, and burnt out.

Fight, flight, or freeze.

Social media is a tool designed to manipulate us.

She was a sensitive kid…hyper-vigilant.

She has had anxiety and depression since she was 19.

Bipolar as well.

There was no hybrid job force back then.

She had to become an entrepreneur to cope with her anxiety and depression.

Related episodes and posts

Find The Best CRM For Your Team and Budget

Start Your Free 12 Weeks To Peak™

Anxiety can drive us to perform.

Stress is put on you, and anxiety shows up when you fear the future.

Sometimes, anxiety kicks in on its own.

She’s had a lot of professional help, including at least 20 different medications.

Sales is a system that thrives off a little bit of anxiety.

Money can make us anxious.

She loves sports and sports psychologists.

They can focus.

Mindfulness is key. Turn off your brain.

You have to build the muscle of your mind to stay in the moment.

Many can get in a negative mindset rut.

You have to retrain your brain.

Therapy…be present…stay in the moment.

Think of the worst-case scenario and ask, “Is this likely? Is it probable?”

She is anxious about flying. It’s not a phobia but anxiety.

Sold her 11-year consulting business.

Now focused on workplace mental health.

Not a therapist.

Coaches teams on mental health.

Use your introversion to excel in sales.

She listens more than she talks.

Use your introversion to excel in sales.”

Anxiety is a natural human emotion.

When we understand ourselves, we’re better.

Stop. Look at the evidence and make a plan to do it again.

Use your anxiety to help you plan.

We bring our past to our negotiations.

Sales Growth Tools Mentioned In The Sales Podcast

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Check out The Sales Podcast's latest episode

[dreamerlucifer]

LONG STORY SHORT~

THIS BLOG AND MY DICORD SERVER ARE ALL LGBTQ+ SAFE, ALL RELIGIONS, RACES, FAITHS, GENDERS, IF YOURE A SMURF, A FURRY, YOU NAME IT,

if you're 18+ YOU ARE WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!

But if you want to hear what we went through trying to flee the ULTRA RED STATE of TN when they passed Anti Trans laws and revoked my medicaid...

This is who I am ♥

Lucifer VonKult

Always, I mean hey, I'm Trans Male so, its a given ♥ We're literally taking in Trans fold that need to flee the southern states like we had to do. Lived homeless for months, got kickout out of every hotel for sneaking in too many pets, but I refuse to rehome my older best friend, where he could possibly end up in the pound and just be put down immediately. I'd rather get kicked from 700 hotels across the blue states than give up my REAL family, my dogs ♥ and our cats !!!

Thank god IL stayed blue ♥♥♥♥ ;^; we faced tragedy in TN, where I was brought by ambulance for diabetic coma from a sugar drop... The RNs were so kind... until they saw my chart, and that I was trans...

Got beaten so badly by two of them, they broke my tailbone, I had a discord call going where everyone stayed silent and just heard them beat me shitless until I passed out. I called to the Dr., he barely looked at me, and left the room while I pleaded for help...

I thought I was going to die that day...

All because TN passed anti Trans laws, and the people there think that made it open season on LGBTQ+ .... SO DANGEROUS IN RED STATES!!!!!! GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!!! I mean we had a beautiful home on an island off a huge lake... But because the ambulances refused to bring me to a different hospital in an emergency after the beating, even with the knowledge that I had been beaten there, Just for being Trans. Their excuse, "The boss said we only drive to THAT hospital, period.""...

well I'll tell you, no lawyer would even take the case for a lawsuit, even with the discord call witnesses, the photos of injuries all over my body... One LGBTQ lawyer cried for me, but they all said the same thing...

"Due to new anti Trans laws in TN, you just can't win, and we can't afford to take on a case that has no ability to win... I am SO, SOOOO Sorry... in almost 40-50% of other states, blue states, It would be an instantly won case, due to all the proof. Just, it will never be winnable here, in TN...We are SO very sorry... But if I were in your position, I'd move to a blue state, before the election!!"

We abandoned our home on the lake and immediately put it up for sale, and fled TN with a few other Trans people in my minivan...

♦We camped~out, thrown out for being "Homeless" even though we paid up front to stay a week.. they gave us 3 days...

♦we used hotels~ Got kicked from EVERY one, right up to the finale closing on the house we picked in IL...

♦Redroof Inn, Springfield, IL~ Took money up front for a two week stay, pets allowed. Then never gave us a key after charging my card over like $1,500.00 !!! I argued to get my money back once we realized the stole the money and weren't going to let us stay. They called 911 and said I was trying to murder the front desk employee, a female employee, when all I dealt with were other men >:U But I had to run, since my license plates were no longer valid, a month late ._.; And my license had been revoked, since I has a traffic violation, doing 40 in a 25 zone school zone, BUT IT WAS 3AM !!!!!!!!!!!!! So I thought the normal speed limit of 40 was fine... I was dead wrong >:[ But since living hotel to hotel is SO EXPENSIVE like 1500 a week plus you need food to make with a microwave alone.....I was supporting myself, my Fiance, another LGBTQ runnaway .. 3 dogs, and 3 cats... In short, I couldn't afford the ticket and the hotel stays at the same time, so my license was revoked ._.;; So as much as I wanted to stay and talk to the police about the theft, I had to run, because the van was all we had to live in while that money for the hotel stays was stolen by redroof..... And get this, I never got my bank to get the money back, because THAT REDROOF INN, IN SPRINGFIELD, IL, the one, FILTHY HOTEL, filled with prostitutes who put magenta mats outside their hotel doors when they're open for business, LIED to my bank card issuer, said that we DID stay there two of the nights, and that my dogs ate the walls beds and all the furniture!!! >:U HOW DARE THEY SAY THAT ABOUT TWO FULLY TRAINED SERVICE DOGS AND ONE FULLY TRAINED ESA !!!!!! I fought so hard for that money, but Redroof insisted they needed all the money and then some in order to have the room rebuilt >:U

Our animals come first, so if we were kicked for having too many animals, we would leave voluntarily and go to a new hotel util they kicked us too...

But, finally, our old house sold, and we bought a home here, in IL ♥ It's been like night and day here!!! TN was just full of bible thumpers who wouldn't take no for an answer just because I despise christianity and especially Catholicism, Since I went to a STRICT, smack you with rulers and yard or meter sticks, or whatever the hell they had at the moment, Roman Catholic School........ Don't get me wrong though, I have plenty of Christian and Catholic friends, but THEY, respect my Satanic Buddhism Choices, so we live in peace ♥ It's the ones that force their religion on you that scare the hell outta me...!!!!!! They're close minded biggots, ready to hurt people who don't agree that their fairytale book is the law of the land. EVEN THOUGH MOST OF THEM ARE UNAWARE OF THE MISTRANSLATIONS of the ORIGINAL text!!!!! It changes the meaning of things greatly when you read some of the recent research on it. But anyway I'm waaaaaaaaaay off topic......

Point is, Red states are Danger Zones for the LGBTQ+ community, especially for the Trans community!!!!! Be careful, get to know your local hospital staff so you can be sure they won't hurt you in an emergency situation!!! Know your local police too!! The sheriff of Spring City, TN spit in my face just because I ran out of gas 6 miles from the nearest gas station... He was happy to announce that the hospital had Violated Hippa, and told the police in town my medical history. He spoke clearly, saying,

"Oohhhhh, I know who YOUUU arrreee... "Disgrace, Demon, This town doesn't need a dumpster fire like YOUU haunting these kind folks, Go back where you came from, you stupid Yankee..." I asked if he would still, even after all that, give me a ride to the gas station....

He turned around without a word, got back in the sherif's car, and left me and my Fiance on the side of the highway .... We're both disabled too... Me, from 9/11 and my massive car accident in the early 2000s, My fiance has such bad asthma that he can die if an emergency inhaler isn't on him at all times... And it was a HOT summer day.

I ended up walking into the middle of the highway with my cane, and trying to stop cars so I could receive a ride 6 miles up the road to the gas station heh...

However, Never thought about the fact that I'm Trans male, and people find it mysterious and kinky sometimes... So Lets just say in exchange for the ride, I had to be felt up ._.; At least they waited for me, and drove me back instead of taking me off and killing me somewhere right? It could've been worse I guess...

Anyway, stay safe, and this is a safe space!!! all my blogs!!!!

@ariel-seagull-wings @the-blue-fairie @thealmightyemprex

[flight-travel-blog]

New Delhi to Mumbai Flights: A Complete Guide for Smart Travelers

Are you planning a trip from New Delhi to Mumbai? Whether you’re traveling for business, leisure, or a quick weekend getaway, finding the right flight can make a huge difference in your travel experience. In this guide, we’ll walk you through everything you need to know about New Delhi to Mumbai flights, including tips on getting cheap airfare, the best time to book, and what to expect during your journey.

Flight Duration and Distance

New Delhi to Mumbai flights cover a distance of approximately 1,150 km, with an average flight duration of 2 to 2.5 hours. The route is one of the busiest in India, with multiple flights operating daily, ensuring you have plenty of options to choose from.

Best Time to Book Cheap New Delhi to Mumbai Flights

If you’re looking for the best flight deals, timing is key. Here are some tips to help you get affordable flight tickets:

Book in Advance: Airfares tend to rise as the departure date approaches. Try booking your ticket at least 4–6 weeks in advance to secure lower fares.

Choose Off-Peak Days: Flights on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays usually have lower demand and better pricing compared to weekends.

Opt for Early Morning or Late-Night Flights: These flights often come with discounted fares compared to prime-time flights.

Look for Seasonal Discounts and Offers: Airlines frequently roll out special deals and promotional offers during festive seasons, sales, and off-peak months.

Finding the Best Flight Deals

Scoring cheap flights from New Delhi to Mumbai requires a bit of strategy. Here’s how you can maximize your savings:

1. Use Flight Comparison Websites

Check multiple travel websites and comparison platforms to compare fares across different airlines. Some platforms even offer price alerts to notify you when fares drop.

2. Be Flexible with Travel Dates

If your travel dates are flexible, use fare calendars to identify the cheapest days to fly.

3. Consider Budget Airlines

Low-cost carriers often offer affordable airfare without compromising on essential travel needs.

4. Leverage Credit Card and Airline Rewards

Many banks and airlines offer frequent flyer programs, credit card reward points, and cashback offers that can help you save on your next booking.

What to Expect at the Airports Departing from New Delhi (Indira Gandhi International Airport — IGI)

Terminals: Domestic flights typically depart from Terminal 1 or Terminal 3.

Facilities: IGI Airport offers a variety of lounges, duty-free shopping, restaurants, and business centers.

Connectivity: The airport is well-connected via metro, taxis, and app-based cab services.

Arriving in Mumbai (Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj International Airport — CSMIA)

Terminals: Domestic flights land at Terminal 1 or Terminal 2.

Facilities: Mumbai Airport offers lounges, transit hotels, car rental services, and easy access to local transport options.

Transportation: Options include pre-paid taxis, app-based cabs, buses, and suburban trains for onward travel.

Travel Tips for a Hassle-Free Journey

Check-in Online: Save time at the airport by checking in online and downloading your boarding pass.

Pack Smart: Follow airline baggage policies to avoid extra charges.

Arrive Early: Reach the airport at least 2 hours before departure to avoid last-minute stress.

Keep Travel Documents Ready: Carry a valid government ID and a digital or printed copy of your ticket.

Monitor Flight Status: Stay updated on any changes in departure time through airline notifications.

Exploring Mumbai After Landing

Once you arrive in Mumbai, there are plenty of things to do:

Visit Iconic Landmarks: Gateway of India, Marine Drive, and Elephanta Caves.

Enjoy Street Food: Try vada pav, pav bhaji, and Mumbai-style chaat.

Experience Bollywood: Take a Bollywood studio tour to get a glimpse of India’s film industry.

Shop Till You Drop: Explore street markets like Colaba Causeway and Linking Road.

FAQs

1. How early should I book a flight from New Delhi to Mumbai?

Booking at least 4–6 weeks in advance usually helps in securing the best fares.

2. Are last-minute flight deals available for this route?

Yes, last-minute deals can be found, but they are not always the cheapest. Booking early is usually the better option.

3. Which is the cheapest month to fly from New Delhi to Mumbai?

Monsoon season (July-September) and post-festive periods often have lower fares due to reduced travel demand.

4. Can I carry extra baggage on my flight?

Most airlines allow extra baggage at an additional cost. Check the airline’s baggage policy before booking.

5. Is it better to book a round-trip ticket or one-way?

Round-trip tickets generally offer better deals compared to one-way fares, especially when booked in advance.

Final Thoughts

Booking New Delhi to Mumbai flights doesn’t have to be complicated. By planning ahead, comparing fares, and taking advantage of available deals and offers, you can enjoy a smooth and budget-friendly journey. Whether you’re flying for work or leisure, Mumbai has something exciting waiting for you!

By keeping these tips in mind, you can make your trip from New Delhi to Mumbai a smooth and enjoyable experience. Happy travels!

[deluxe-cruises]

Deluxe Cruises: Your Premier Choice for Luxury Cruises Worldwide

At DeluxeCruises.com, we are committed to providing you with the ultimate luxury cruise experience. With over 20 years of expertise in the deluxe cruise industry, we’ve built strong relationships with the world’s top cruise lines, ensuring you receive the best possible deals, service, and exclusive offers that you won’t find anywhere else. Whether you’re looking for a dream cruise to the Mediterranean, Fjords, Caribbean, or anywhere else in the world, we’ve got you covered.

Why Choose DeluxeCruises.com?

1. Best Cruise Deals and Discounts

When you book with DeluxeCruises.com, you gain access to exclusive discounts, including group prices, secret discounts, and suite savings. Our close partnerships with luxury cruise lines like Regent Seven Seas, Silversea, Oceania Cruises, and more allow us to offer our clients up to $5,000 in savings and onboard spending money of up to $1,250. Plus, you can enjoy complimentary upgrades, special cruise fares, and many more perks when you book with us.

2. Guaranteed Lowest Prices

We guarantee the best cruise prices, regardless of currency. If you find a better deal elsewhere, contact us, and we will work to match or beat it. We take pride in our ability to offer the lowest rates for luxury cruises, ensuring you receive the best value for your money.

3. Fast and Personalized Service

At DeluxeCruises.com, we believe that exceptional customer service is key to a great travel experience. We offer 24/7 availability via WhatsApp at +1-702-900-9975, ensuring quick responses to your questions and booking requests. You can also reach us by email at info@deluxecruises.com for personalized assistance from our dedicated cruise experts.

4. Exclusive Suite Savings

Take advantage of our Suite Upgrade Sale and treat yourself to the finest accommodations at sea. With suites starting as low as $2,242, you can enjoy:

Complimentary suite upgrades

Up to $5,000 in savings

Up to $1,250 to spend onboard

All-inclusive fares on select voyages

5. Bonus Offers for Extra Value

Our clients enjoy exclusive bonus offers, including up to $1,000 extra to spend onboard or up to a $2,000 Visa® Prepaid Card. These offers are available only through DeluxeCruises.com, providing additional value to your luxury cruise booking.

Explore Our Luxury Cruise Deals

Regent Seven Seas Cruises

Regent Seven Seas is known for its all-inclusive luxury, with suites starting at just $4,499. Enjoy exclusive benefits such as:

Up to $1,000 to spend onboard

Complimentary two-category suite upgrades

All-inclusive fares, including unlimited shore excursions and premium beverages

Oceania Cruises

Oceania Cruises offers sophisticated luxury with incredible culinary experiences. Suites start as low as $3,899 and include:

Up to $1,250 to spend onboard

Up to 25% off select sailings

Complimentary beverages

Silversea Cruises

With suites starting at $2,900, Silversea Cruises provides unrivaled elegance and service, featuring:

Up to $600 to spend onboard

Up to $5,000 in savings

All-inclusive fares, including butler service and gourmet dining

Viking River Cruises

Discover the world’s most scenic rivers with Viking River Cruises, with suites starting at $3,999. Take advantage of:

Up to $400 in instant savings

Special cruise fares

$25 reduced deposits

Windstar Cruises

Sail in luxury aboard Windstar’s small, elegant ships, with suites starting at $2,242. Enjoy:

Up to $1,000 to spend onboard

Complimentary upgrade to all-inclusive packages

Complimentary pre- or post-hotel stay

Avalon Waterways

Explore the rivers of Europe in style with Avalon Waterways, offering suites starting at $6,229. Enjoy:

Gratuities included for two guests

Up to $4,000 in savings

Complimentary shore excursions on select sailings

How to Book with DeluxeCruises.com

Booking your dream luxury cruise with us is easy! Here’s how:

Browse our exclusive deals on our website at DeluxeCruises.com and choose your preferred cruise.

Contact us via email at info@deluxecruises.com or WhatsApp at +1-702-900-9975 to discuss your needs and receive a personalized quote with the best available discounts.

Secure your booking and take advantage of our exclusive offers, including onboard credits, complimentary upgrades, and more.

Additional Benefits of Booking with DeluxeCruises.com:

Past Passenger Discounts: If you’re a past passenger with any of our featured cruise lines, you’re eligible for additional discounts. Let us know during booking to unlock extra savings.

Group Prices: Traveling with family or friends? Inquire about group rates for even more savings on your luxury cruise.

Secret Discounts: Ask us about hidden promotions and exclusive deals that you won’t find on the cruise line’s website.

Experience Luxury at Sea with DeluxeCruises.com

With DeluxeCruises.com, you’ll experience the best that luxury cruising has to offer. From complimentary suite upgrades to exclusive onboard credits, our clients enjoy an unparalleled level of service and value. We are dedicated to helping you plan the cruise of your dreams while saving you money with the best deals in the industry.

Contact Us Today

Don’t miss out on your chance to secure a fantastic deal on your next luxury cruise! Contact DeluxeCruises.com via email at info@deluxecruises.com or WhatsApp at +1-702-900-9975. Our team of expert cruise concierges is ready to assist you in finding the perfect cruise for you.

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Navigating Cannabis Laws in DC: What You Need to Know

Cannabis laws have been evolving across the United States, and Washington, DC, is no exception. Whether you're a resident or just visiting, it's important to understand the local laws surrounding cannabis use. While cannabis is legal for both medical and recreational use in the District, the regulations can still be a bit tricky to navigate. In this guide, we'll break down the key points about cannabis laws in DC so you can stay informed and compliant.

1. Cannabis is Legal for Adults 21 and Over

In Washington, DC, adults 21 years or older are allowed to possess and use cannabis for recreational purposes. This means you can carry up to two ounces of cannabis without facing legal consequences. However, there are some important restrictions and guidelines to keep in mind:

Possession Limit: You can possess up to two ounces of cannabis for personal use, but it must be kept in your private residence or other legal locations.

Consumption: Consumption of cannabis is allowed in private spaces but not in public places such as parks, sidewalks, or on public transportation. Smoking in any public space can result in fines or penalties.

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2. Where to Purchase Cannabis

Although cannabis is legal in DC, there are strict regulations about where and how it can be bought and sold. You cannot buy cannabis directly from a dispensary for recreational use because there is no legal system in place for recreational cannabis sales. However, you can legally purchase cannabis through a "gifting" process.

Gifting: Some businesses offer cannabis products as part of a "gift" with a purchase of another product, like merchandise or a service. This is a legal workaround, but it's crucial to be aware that it's technically a grey area in the law, so always ensure you're dealing with reputable businesses.

3. Medical Cannabis in DC

For those with qualifying conditions, medical cannabis is widely available in Washington, DC. If you have a doctor's recommendation, you can visit one of the licensed dispensaries in the District to purchase medical cannabis. Here’s how to access it:

Registration: You need to register with the DC Department of Health’s Medical Cannabis Program to receive a medical marijuana card.

Purchasing Limits: Patients are allowed to purchase up to 4 ounces of cannabis every 30 days.

Medical cannabis has fewer restrictions, and you can use it legally in both public and private spaces (unless prohibited by property owners).

4. Cannabis in Public Spaces

As mentioned earlier, smoking or vaping cannabis is not allowed in public spaces. This includes streets, sidewalks, parks, or on public transportation. The law prohibits the use of cannabis in any area where smoking is generally banned, such as restaurants, bars, or hotels.

It's important to be discreet and respectful of public spaces. If you want to consume cannabis, it’s best to do so in private settings where it’s legally permitted.

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5. Traveling with Cannabis

If you're a visitor or resident traveling in and out of DC, remember that while cannabis is legal within the District, transporting cannabis across state lines is illegal. Cannabis remains illegal federally, so transporting cannabis across state borders or through airports can lead to serious legal issues, including arrest.

6. Driving Under the Influence

Driving under the influence of cannabis is illegal in DC. Police can pull over drivers if they suspect impairment and perform a field sobriety test. If you’re caught driving under the influence of cannabis, you could face fines, license suspension, or even jail time.

7. Personal Cultivation of Cannabis

DC law allows individuals to grow their own cannabis, but with limitations. You can grow up to six plants per person, with a maximum of twelve plants per household. However, you must meet specific conditions, such as keeping the plants out of public view, and it's illegal to sell any homegrown cannabis.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Q: Is cannabis fully legal in Washington, DC?

Yes, cannabis is legal for both medical and recreational use, but with regulations. Recreational cannabis cannot be sold directly in dispensaries, and there are rules about where and how it can be consumed.

Q: How can I legally buy cannabis in DC?

Cannabis can only be obtained through a "gifting" process at licensed businesses. Alternatively, if you have a medical cannabis card, you can purchase cannabis at a licensed dispensary.

Q: Can I consume cannabis in public places?

No, consuming cannabis in public spaces such as parks or on the streets is illegal. Consumption must take place in private settings where permitted.

Q: Can I transport cannabis across state lines?

No, transporting cannabis across state lines is illegal under federal law, even if you’re traveling from or to a state where cannabis is legal.

Q: How much cannabis can I possess in DC?

Adults 21 and over can possess up to two ounces of cannabis for personal use.

Q: Can I grow my own cannabis?

Yes, individuals are allowed to grow up to six plants per person (12 per household), but there are rules around cultivation, including keeping plants out of public view.

8. Conclusion

Washington, DC, has unique cannabis laws that can be confusing at first glance, but by understanding the rules around possession, consumption, and purchase, you can enjoy cannabis safely and legally. Whether you’re using it for medical reasons or as an adult recreationally, always stay informed about the current regulations to avoid fines or penalties.

Make sure to check out Exotic Dreams DC for your cannabis needs in a safe, compliant, and enjoyable way!

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How Can You Maximize American Express Card Benefits?

Unlock Exclusive Rewards with Your American Express Card

American Express cards offer great rewards. By understanding how they work, you can get the most out of your spending. The key to maximizing rewards is using the card often. For example, you can earn cashback or points for every dollar spent. These points can be redeemed for gift cards, travel, or even statement credits. Many American Express cards also offer bonus rewards in certain categories. For instance, some cards give extra points on groceries or dining. It’s important to choose the right card for your lifestyle. If you love travel, opt for a card with travel rewards. This can help you save money on flights or hotel stays.

Take Advantage of Special Offers and Benefits

American Express is known for its perks. Some cards offer exclusive deals or discounts. For example, you might get access to special events or early ticket sales. Many cardholders get shopping discounts or even free shipping with certain brands. If you shop online often, these perks can add up quickly. You can also enjoy travel-related benefits, such as airport lounge access. This is a huge advantage when traveling for work or leisure. Many American Express cards also come with purchase protection. This means your items are covered if they are lost or damaged. For added value, don’t forget to enroll in programs like Amex Offers. These programs give you cashback or discounts at popular retailers.

Stay on Top of Fees and Interest Rates

To truly maximize the benefits, keep an eye on fees and interest rates. Many American Express cards come with annual fees. However, the rewards and perks you earn can outweigh these costs. Before applying, check the fee structure of each card. For example, some cards waive the annual fee for the first year. Make sure to pay off your balance on time to avoid high interest rates. Late payments can reduce your rewards and damage your credit score. Use your American Express card smartly. By paying in full each month, you avoid interest charges and keep your rewards. Keep track of your spending to stay within your budget.

By following these simple steps, you can make the most out of your American Express card. Stay informed and enjoy all the rewards and benefits it offers.

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For in-depth access to extensive USA contact details, explore the BizXplore directory. Offering a wide array of listings, this resource ensures you can find specific contacts across various industries and regions within the United States. Whether you're searching for business contacts, customer service numbers, or professional connections, BizXplore is a dependable platform to streamline your search. Utilize its user-friendly interface and vast database to access the most relevant and current contact information tailored to your needs. Efficiently uncover detailed American business contact information with the BizXplore directory today.

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Unlock the Power of Top Cash Back: Save Money While You Shop

Imagine earning money back every time you shop online or in-store. That’s the magic of cash back programs, where your purchases become an opportunity to save and earn simultaneously. Whether you’re buying essentials or splurging on luxuries, cash back ensures you get rewarded for every dollar you spend. Let’s dive into how these programs work, the benefits they offer, and how you can maximize your earnings.

What is Cash Back, and Why is It So Valuable?

Cash back is a reward system where a percentage of your spending is returned to you as cash or credits. With partnerships spanning across international stores and programs, cash back platforms provide a win-win situation for shoppers and brands alike. The concept is simple: shop, save, and earn.

Key Benefits of Cash Back Programs:

1. Global Coverage: Access cash back offers from thousands of stores worldwide. 2. Variety of Categories: From electronics and fashion to groceries and travel, there’s a deal for every shopping need. 3. Easy Savings: No complicated points system—you get real money back. 4. Stackable Savings: Combine cash back with sales, coupons, and promotional offers for maximum benefits.

Top International Stores Offering Cash Back

Here are some renowned global brands and programs where you can save while shopping:

1. Amazon: Get cash back on select categories and enjoy additional discounts during special sales events. 2. eBay: Earn cash back on auctions and buy-now purchases. 3. AliExpress: Shop affordable items with the added bonus of earning money back. 4. Booking.com: Save on your next hotel booking or vacation rental. 5. Walmart: From groceries to gadgets, earn rewards on your everyday purchases. 6. Nike & Adidas: Score deals on your favorite athletic gear and earn cash back at the same time. (The list is too long).…

How to Start Earning Cash Back

Start saving NOW

Getting started is simple and rewarding. Follow these steps to unlock savings:

1. Sign Up: Join a trusted cash back platform like Top Cash Back. 2. Browse Offers: Explore cash back deals from your favorite international and local stores. 3. Shop Through the Portal: Always shop via the platform’s link to ensure your purchases are tracked. 4. Earn Rewards: Once your purchase is confirmed, watch your cash back balance grow. 5. Withdraw Your Earnings: Transfer your savings to your bank account, PayPal, or redeem as gift cards.

Why Choose Top Cash Back?

By signing up through my referral link, you’ll gain access to exclusive benefits:

Higher Cash Back Rates: Enjoy some of the best return rates in the industry.

No Hidden Fees: 100% free to use with no membership costs.

Global Reach: Access deals from a wide range of international brands.

Extra Bonus: As a referral bonus, you’ll receive a welcome reward when you make your first qualifying purchase.

Click here to join and start earning cash back today!

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Tips to Maximize Your Cash Back Earnings

1. Use Browser Extensions: Many cash back platforms offer extensions that remind you to activate cash back when you shop online. 2. Stack Discounts: Combine cash back with store sales and discount codes. 3. Refer Friends: Share your referral link to earn extra rewards when others join. 4. Plan Your Purchases: Wait for major sales events like Black Friday or Cyber Monday for bigger savings.

Start Saving Today

Don’t let your hard-earned money go to waste. Join the cash back revolution and make every purchase work for you. With Top Cash Back, you can turn your shopping into a rewarding experience while enjoying incredible deals from top brands worldwide.

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